Where the Fault Lies

 
Yesterday I wrote the typical "it's his fault, but he blames her" story to share, then I woke up thinking about the fact that we all know someone who blames others for everything that goes wrong in their life.  We know the couples that constantly find fault with each other, and the parents and the children who blame each other for all the problems in their relationship.
 
Besides being miserable for outsiders to listen to, the continual picking-at, fault-finding, finger-pointing, and blame-assigning is so destructive to all involved; feelings of anger, frustration, resentment, defeat, and failure pile up and eventually destroy any hope of salvaging the situation.
 
Deciding with whom the fault lies is a waste of time and energy; the solution is so obvious that it's often overlooked... when something goes wrong, work together to fix the problem, instead of rushing to fix the blame.
 
Additionally, if hurt and misunderstanding come between you, follow Papa Bear's advice to newlyweds and be the first to say you're sorry, even if you aren't sure you were in the wrong.  Being right isn't always most important, nurturing the relationship you share is.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I'm joining Ivy Walker at "Uncharted"
where the cue this week is "fault"
Come and share your story with us!

14 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Amen indeed, Paul. I get so weary of hearing people trash each other, often with the fault lying at both sets of feet.

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  2. Yes indeed. Reminds me of what my Grandfather told my Husband when we got engaged. "There are three things you need to remember: Yes, dear. You're right, dear. I'm sorry, dear." I suspect he wasn't really joking at all.

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    1. I bet he wasn't. He had probably learned this bit of wisdom over the years. When you are young it seems so important to be right about everything... how the towels are folded, which way the toilet paper roll goes. Eventually you figure out that you only fight the really big issues and don't sweat the small stuff. Papa Bear laughs and says if you tell your wife "I'm sorry" first thing in the morning you are covered for any offenses committed for the rest of the day. ;-)

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  3. Yes! It doesn't matter who spilled the milk, work together to get it cleaned up!

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    1. Exactly, communicate and get it resolved!

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  4. Perfect advice....so, how often do you guys get into arguments about who gets to apologize first??? Lol.

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    1. No contest here, Papa Bear is much quicker than I am, but we truly argue so rarely that I can't remember the last time. We both feel so bad any time we have a conflict that we both want it resolved quickly. We never, ever go to sleep or part angry, that's just dumb, and could so easily result in a lifetime of regret!!

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  5. You are so wise, sister. When we look to find blame, we look to exonerate ourselves of responsibility for a situation that goes wrong. Working together to find solutions. A bright idea for the world!

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    1. That's the crux of the problem, Val... if you are wrong I must be blame free, and we know that most often everyone has a part in a problem... the important thing is that BOTH involved want to resolve things... communication, communication, communication!!

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  6. You are absolutely right Josie but there are always some people that will see an apology as a sigh of weakness. Be wary of them they are bullies.

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    1. Yes, I've been involved with some of those, Old Egg, absolutely can't say I'm sorry even if the need is so obvious. An apology does a world of good in helping to repair things. Such a dumb ego issue!

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