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On My Way

 
I had known for some time that the future of our office was in jeopardy.  When I began working there over four years ago it was my intention to remain in the position until I reached retirement age, and then reduce my hours to part-time.  I have never lost a job in my life, I didn't expect to lose this one.

When your fears become reality you are confronted with a full range of emotions. Along with frustration and fear, I have had to deal with a lot of anger because I liked my job, at least the interactions with people desperately needing our assistance.  Other things about it suited me well too, and I really didn't want to face the prospect of searching for a good fit and learning yet another new job at this age.

I haven't held all that many jobs in my adult life, one I had for nineteen years, and left it only when I moved to Texas to marry Papa Bear.  But I had been ready for that change and relocation, my life needed it, and God provided.  Then came the job at the truck sales/service business.  It was a good job too, and despite a lot of ongoing drama I liked it well enough... until it sold out to a larger corporation that I didn't want to be a part of.  So I flung caution to the wind, took a giant leap of faith, and submitted my resignation. Within a few weeks time I'd secured my new job at the law firm, and again it felt like where I was supposed to be.  And then it ended.  The office closed for many reasons, but management issues certainly played a role in it, and that's what made me angry because perhaps it didn't have to end that way. 

But none the less it ended, and as I walked out of the office for the final time after holding keys for two weeks to let movers in, etc. I felt such a wave of relief.  Freedom at last, no need to return to that office building again ever. And then comes the fear.  What would I do now, and how would we survive?

I still don't know the answers to those questions, but I do know that God is clearing a path for me to follow if I trust Him.  The hardest thing to learn in life if you are a questioning person like me, is that we don't need to know all the answers.  All we have to do is see the first step, and take it.  I've been taking it day-by-day now for over six weeks, and so far everything is working out ok.  I have a few things to iron out, like finding some part time income to supplement my Social Security benefits, and enough to cover health insurance.  I'm hoping that I can find something casual or that I can do at home. I am praying that my office days are over.  But I am also open to what may come. 

In life we have to learn to bend with the wind like the trees do.  Even more importantly, I need to feel secure in  the belief that God has a plan for me.  Then all I have to do is remember to breathe.  Just as the quote below says, I have no idea where I am going, but I am on my way.  I am willing to be led...  and that is good enough.
~*~*~*~*~*~
I'm joining Patricia for In Other Words
where this week's writing prompt
is the following quotation by Carl Sandburg:

"I don't know where I am going, but I am on my way."


 

8 comments:

  1. The journey can be profound when we take the steps we know we need to take, and let G-d's plan unfold.

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    1. Absolutely true, Mimi! Those first steps are so scary, but once we begin we can see that we are headed in the right direction!

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  2. You have a great attitude, I know you will get a wonderful job soon.

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    1. Thank you Ellen! I am believing that once again I will end up being right where I need to be.

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  3. Bend, believe, breathe. Perfect plan! You may not know the details but you do know that God has a plan for you. He tells you in Jeremiah 29:11. Thank you for sharing with In Other Words.

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    1. Thank you, Patricia! I am confident that He will show me the way!

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  4. I gave up needing all the answers quite awhile ago. It's rather exhausting, isn't it? Trying to "figure it all out" - instead of just actually moving in some way. Seems to me the leap of faith takes less energy. You have such a great attitude and spirit!! It's very encouraging to others.

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    1. Yes, I can drive myself crazy with worry and with trying to arrange things that probably won't work out well anyway. When we learn to trust and let life flow according to plan, things work out for the best. Faith gives me peace of heart and mind when I need it most!

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Your comments are always appreciated... they make me smile! :-)