The fantasized version of waking up on Monday morning without having to go to work, with nothing you have to do, is quite nice. Unfortunately, this week's reality isn't all that pleasant. I was wonderful to be able to stay in bed a bit longer, and to cuddle with the furkids when I got up, but not going to work because I have no job to go to at present, comes with a heavy dose of anxiety and dread. All the what-ifs are dancing in my head.
I can't honestly say that I have done nothing; there are plenty of things that needed to be done, such as filing online for unemployment benefits, continuing with the job search, and trying to figure out how to budget the money we will have coming in which, without my paycheck, isn't going to cover everything. I've run a couple errands in town, and done a few loads of laundry, read a few blog posts and played a few turns of Words With Friends and Yahtzee. There are endless housecleaning and de-cluttering projects waiting to be done, but my head really isn't into taking much of anything on. Deep down I'm just beginning to come to terms with the loss of my job.
Being laid-off is not something I anticipated having to deal with at this stage of my life, I don't suppose anybody really does. The angry child in me stomps her feet and says "I don't want to find another job, I don't want to have to go to work at all, I want to stay home." It's not that I'm opposed to working, I'm just opposed to the ever-present state of stress and fatigue that comes with it. If I could find a job that was not so tiring or stressful, that would be great, but the job market here is pretty thin right now, and there are too many jobs I am not qualified or able to do.
I need the perfect answer, and I believe God has one for me, but what that is I don't have a clue at this point. So I will keep hunting, and watching, and praying for direction, and try to relax and breathe in these days I have off and not fear for tomorrow, and not feel guilty if I take a little time to do nothing other than improve my perspective. But I can say with certainty that having nothing to do isn't really all that fun right now.~*~*~*~*~*~
I'm joining Patricia for In Other Words
where this week's writing prompt
is the following quotation by Jerome K. Jerome: