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Lessons from My Exes


I've written several times in the past about my ex-husbands.  None of those posts were very favorable, and I'd have to honestly say, rightly so.  I'm sure more than one reader has wondered why I ever married these guys in the first place.  I have no plausible explanation other than to plead temporary insanity in all three cases, temporary meaning anywhere from a few years to more than a decade.  I'm a slow learner, ok?  Or maybe, more accurately, I believe in marriage and really wanted to make those relationships work.  Except that it takes two committed people, one can't do it on his/her own.

When I saw that the cue for this week's Six Sentence Stories was "ex", it would have been easy for me to write a short story featuring any of one a hundred dark "stranger than fiction" tales from the past chapters of my life, but I decided to do something in a more positive light this time, and share a few of the things I learned from those individuals.
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 Lessons I Learned From My Exes - Part I
 
1. Having a genius IQ does not mean that an individual has common sense; there really is a "fine line between genius and insanity" and sometimes that line is barely perceptible.
 
2. Painting an entire room (floor, walls, ceiling, doors, and window panes) black will not endear you to your landlord, although it may render him speechless... which might be a good thing.
 
3. The world does not end if you leave the house in mismatched clothes or socks - relax already.
 
4. Cats do not appreciate rock-n-roll bands jamming in the house no matter how good the music is, and if the walls and floors are vibrating they are likely to burrow under bed quilts.
 
5. When your partner says that you "don't have the balls" to leave him, show him how much courage your really have - no balls required.
 
6. No matter how badly you want something to work sometimes it's just not meant to be; know when to let go.
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I'm joining the incredible Ivy Walker at "Uncharted"
where the cue this week is "EX"
Come and share a story of your own!

30 comments:

  1. Good lessons learned the hard way will not be forgotten.

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  2. oh my, oh my, oh my....can I add to the list????

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    1. You will note that I labeled this "Part I"... because six was just a drop in the bucket. I bet all of us with exes could get together and put out an amazing volume of wisdom tidbits... some funny, and some not funny at all! :-)

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  3. It's hard, isn't it. It took me years and way too many relationships to find the right man and then he died. Now I wonder if it would have lasted. Too much to ponder.

    @Kathleen01930
    Meet My Imaginary Friends
    #AtoZchallenge

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    1. It is hard to get it right, Kathleen. We tend to learn a lot more about a person after we get married than we knew before. Papa Bear and I have been together for almost eight years, not long in terms of how old we are, but I could every day we have as a blessing. Sometimes God saves the very best man for last! :-)

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  4. Great advice. I think why it's great to live with no regrets. Going through tough situations is how you learn the lessons.

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    1. I agree Jenn, while we might have avoided some of these lessons if we had chosen our paths and relationships more carefully, we likely would have encountered those same lessons in another manner at some point. I have very few regrets because it's all worked out ok in the end, and that is how life is supposed to be!

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    1. I tend to be a bit hard-headed, Shortybear, so God had to bring the point home to me clearly in a few cases. I pay more attention now! :-)

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  6. I love your lessons. I'm sure we could all add many things to that list. So many ex's, so little time.

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    1. Your comment made me laugh - indeed, I think we could compile volumes of these if we started surveying exes! I had a hard time choosing just a random few when so many came quickly to mind! I bet I could list a hundred or more in an hour. But then lessons are what life is all about, right? :-)

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  7. nice approach to a topic (application of the prompt word) that surely could not only go in a lot of directions, but also into considerable length. Still six, yet conveying so much of an impression/picture of each that I was totally trying to get (from each sentence) what the person's personality type was (in terms of the Doctrine).
    incisive description without being too entangled
    cool

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    1. Thanks Clark! These little glimpses are a bit telling as to the nature of things. Let me help you out by saying that 1 and 2 belong to one ex, 3 and 4 belong to another, and 5 to a third one. 6 is obviously an umbrella statement that covers all three. :-) I'd love to know your take on which type you identify them as, and what about me? :-)

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  8. That first one, yes! Some of the most book smart people have no common sense whatsoever!

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    1. Very true, Mimi, and yet they often proclaim their superiority to the rest of us mere mortals! Hmmmmm

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  9. How important No.6 is too often being in denial and hoping things will improve are the last things to do. Sorry to know that you have this this and more to come Josie.

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    1. I agree, Old Egg. I let a couple of these run on far longer than I should have. We get comfortable in what we know, even if it isn't good, and there are so many factors involved in breaking free. It is easier than it sounds, but it is always doable, and in many cases it is the best thing to do! Although all three of these marriages were admittedly poor choices on my part, Old Egg, I no longer regret them because I've survived and they've helped make me who I am. So in the end it's good. :-)

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  10. I'm glad that you made the best of the situations of your life. Still, I hope that I'm never in that position of being an ex. Here's to you and Papa Bear and a long, happy life together!

    Have a blessed day. :)

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    1. I didn't always handle them well at the time Suzanne, but in retrospect I did the best I was able to at that point, until I learned to do better. My relationship with Papa Bear is 180 degrees different from the first three, and I can say with certainty that it will last to eternity, because it was meant to be. <3

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  11. This is an interesting post and I would like a post on each one of the six. Painting everything black? And I'm sure there's much more to balls than having them. It is only after we are securely out of a horrible situation that we can sit back and look at what we have learned and can go forward from. I'm so glad you and Papa Bear found each other and you can look back, and in some cases (black room) laugh.

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    1. Ahh yes, Val, each of those items is indeed a story in itself, as are so many more. That's always true of our lives with exes, so many stories remembered, even a few happy ones amidst the sad and really bad ones. Maybe someday I'll do some more writing on this subject. Or it will come out in my bio... after I die! ;-) I will always be grateful for Papa Bear, he turned my entire life around, where there was nothing but sadness, there is now joy!

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  12. Very valuable lessons. I think a six sentence story for each one would be a good thing to do. Or, even better, share this as it is in larger venue, where you can elaborate.

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    1. I just might do that, Annie! I think in my case, the most difficult lessons have been not only the ones I've brought on myself but also turned out to be the ones from which I learned the most! It just took some time to sort thru it all and figure out what was of value you that I could take away from those experiences.

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  13. Great wisdom gained through doing hard time....you learned from those experiences ...thats the best anyone could do .... Learn and turn...which you have done...a complete turn around with papa bear

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    1. "Hard time" is a great way to put it, Zoë. Most definitely miserable in their duration, but now that I am past them I can look back and see how much I grew, because I had to - it was that or shrivel up and die. I learned to be a survivor, and now I'm learning how to go beyond that and thrive. I love life now, like I never did before! :-)

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  14. I always say that nothing in our past is wasted time or effort if there are lessons gleaned from the experience. You certainly have mastered the art of seeing the positive in the errors of the past, Josie.

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    1. It is said that we learn from every relationship and experience, either to do or what not to do. I am resistant to learning lessons, so it sometimes takes a few repetitions to get it right, Lisa! :-) The emotions of the past choices are for the most part no longer relevant, and I am able to look back and either smile or just shake my head that I found myself in that situation!

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  15. Oh the nerve saying that to someone! I would have left him to just prove him wrong! hmphf!
    But some good valuable advice all around. Especially the smarts one: the dummiest guy I ever dated was also the smartest. I think you will understand how that makes perfect sense.

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    1. I assure you that was one of the motivating factors in my ending that relationship! But I'm certain he was willing me in that direction anyway. He had no vested interest in our marriage. I know exactly what you mean about smart guys and dumb ones. There is a great difference between intelligence and wisdom, and in being smart and acting smartly. Common sense and caring can be rare finds at any place of the intelligence spectrum!

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Your comments are always appreciated... they make me smile! :-)