Hurry now, just time to shower, dry my hair and dress. Start the car by remote, greet the furkids and feed them kitty treats, tug on clothes and shoes in laundry room so as to let sleeping Papa Bear sleep one more hour. A different alarm tone sounds, reminder to put in my hearing aids; else I would forget them, and I have. Hurry, time to leave! Grab coat, purse, and water bottle, turn off house alarm and slip out the door. Settle into car seat and Go! Breathe Josie, breathe.
Turn left on to busy two-lane highway and head for the city. Damn oil-field trucks and equipment have it so congested. Speed limit is 75, but traffic crawls at 60, no room to pass. Muscles tense. Hit the main highway, keep eyes open for road construction and accidents, join the lines of lemmings moving into town. Red light, red light red light, how do they time these things? Breathe Josie, breathe.
Zip through McDonalds line, though more often not zipping but instead queuing up as yet another new trainee tries to master speaker and register keys. Check tea before leaving window, always check the tea - 50/50 chance it's unsweet as you requested. Exit, turn right, headed downtown. Idiots flying up behind you before applying brakes, watching in the rear view mirror, anticipating jarring crunch. Breathe Josie, breathe.
Arrive at work early thinking there is time to soak in a bit of quiet and check email before others arrive. Wrong. Attorney calls, "Will you please fax a file to me for the hearing right away?" Coworker calls, "I'm running a little late, can you call my first appointment". The next to arrive initiates play by play review of yesterday's issues. One round of the drama wasn't enough? Breathe Josie, breathe.
Time to kick it into gear, phones begin ringing in endless succession. Questions and concerns, heart-breaking stories, appointments, files, forms, faxes, bank deposits, and mail. Go, go, go, everything must be ready to go by end of day. Breathe Josie, breathe.
Finally going home time... but no, not quite yet... drop off mail, pick up dry cleaning and/or groceries, or maybe stop by pharmacy, or get gas. Join traffic crawling slowly out of town while mentally listing the things that must be done before bedtime. Breathe Josie, breathe.
Pick up mail from Post Office, carry in bags from car, feed furkids, scoop kitty box, make supper, stack dishes (don't ask for how long), wash a load of laundry, fill pill boxes, pay bills, try to read, write or blog a little, play with furkids while visiting with hubby and watching TV in background - or get tied up in long winded phone conversations that make me squirm as time disappears. Breathe Josie, breathe.
10:30 PM - What? It's bedtime already? But I wanted to..... Ok, you're right, if we don't go now I will be even more tired tomorrow. Slip into soft flannel sheets, visit, snuggle and sink into darkness. Little light in brain flashes off and on, thinking of all the things to be done tomorrow, pressing life issues and worries regarding family, friends, jobs and money. Breathe Josie, breathe.
Deep breath... more like a deep sigh. Don't check blood pressure, you can be sure it's high. Sleep comes at last, maybe good dreams, maybe bad, but at least distance from the endless list of "must do's." My last thought before drifting off, and my first one when arising, are the same... Is this rat race really what life is supposed to be? Please, slow down! STOP! I want more time to play and breathe!
Note: Not all days are this bad, but often this is how they go, and I am saddened by the way we hurtle through life at blinding speed, missing so much of the beauty and opportunities for interaction because we must run the race, there is little reprieve. If we should live long enough - maybe someday we can opt out. But realistically, we all know that someday is not to be found in the days of the week. I keep looking for ways to break the cycle and make more room to breathe.
This story was written for Two Shoes Tuesday
where the theme choices this week are breathe and spring