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Play It Loud

~Photo Source~
Tuesday night found Susan in bed with a throbbing headache.  Her cat Dancer was tunneled under the blankets next to her, doing his best to hide from the strangers in his house and escape the sound blasting from the next room.  Susan's husband was a drummer in a rock band, and they were conducting a practice session, to be followed by another on Friday night.  The floor and walls vibrated from music blaring thru stacks of amplifiers, and Susan knew it would continue until well after midnight, just as it did twice a week every week. 
 
There was a time when she used to love to watch him play, when life was good and love was new, but the fun wore off as she came to realize that although she was the drummer's wife, the band was his mistress and making music was his first priority.  She didn't begrudge him playing, she knew it was good therapy for him, the only time he escaped from the demons of childhood that still haunted him.  Her problem was with them never having any time alone together, and with the ever increasing drug use that was changing him entirely.  Although he told her that he only smoked weed she knew better, and she was well aware of the large amounts of money slipping through his hands. It had reached the point of her feeling like she was walking on eggshells, never knowing when he was going to flip out over the tiniest thing.  Love and laughter seemed like memories from a long time ago.  In fact the only time they really spent together anymore was when sleeping or eating, and even then if the conversation wasn't about him it didn't happen. 
 
Susan typically made plans to be away from the house on Tuesday and Friday evenings for at least a couple hours, shopping, taking in a movie, or eating dinner out by herself.  She dreamed of a place where she could live in peaceful surroundings, watch tv or read without the walls shaking, and without a never-ending stream of band mates and groupies overtaking her home, filling the counters and trashcans with empty beer cans and bottles, and turning the bathroom into a disgusting disaster that she'd be left to clean again the following day.
 
The straw that finally broke the proverbial camel's back came when Susan's often unemployed husband finally worked at a job long enough to earn a week of vacation.  Excited about the thought of them going away together, Susan eagerly asked him where he would like to go.  Her spirits sank when he replied that he wouldn't be going anywhere during the upcoming week, he would be spending it in studio, recording a demo with the band.  Susan realized at that point that she would never have her husband back, never have a friend and partner, and would always be alone on holidays and birthdays, and even their anniversary, unless of course she wanted to go and watch him play... watch him high and having a good time as she sat there alone.
 
Susan realized that she didn't even have a life anymore, she couldn't remember the last time she'd done anything fun, and she was tired of it.  She had prayed and she had waited, and she'd tried hard to be a perfect wife... all to no avail.  The music blasting thru the house was nothing compared to sound of her heart breaking and the screams echoing in her head.  It had to end, she knew that she had to escape from the madness or die trying.  That night an idea began to form in Susan's mind, and she started to make a plan.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
This post was written for Two Shoes Tuesday
where the prompt choices this week are late and loud...
Come and join us there!

18 comments:

  1. Nicely writtfen story Josie, about troubles though. I'll check in later to see if you finish this. My son is a drumme for a rock band. They started in a garage but now they get paid for gigs. He has been married for a long time. But I don't think he has ever tasted beer, smoked a cigarette, or even tried one drug. He keeps his body pure. With his eating also.

    Lee Strobel was a fellow, an athiest, who almost divorced his wife. She was aslo an athiest and had become a Christian. Before he did anything drastic, he checked things out.
    "After investigating (this took two years--Jim here) the evidence for Jesus, Lee became a Christian in 1981. He joined the staff of Willow Creek Community Church in 1987 and later became a teaching pastor. He joined Saddleback Valley Community Church as a teaching pastor in 2000. He left Saddleback to write books and host the national network TV program Faith Under Fire."
    http://www.leestrobel.com/Bio.php
    He tells about his experience and his finding in his book, The Case for Christ. I hope something like this happens to the husband in your book.
    It did to my drum playing son.
    ..

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    1. I writ e a Sunday or Monday post and sometimes both on my Little Photo & Poem Place besides the Sunday regular. I may be slowing down for a few weeks again.
      As I say, I think I am "going back to jail for a bit."
      ..

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    2. I agree, Jim, that one can play in a rock n' roll band without falling prey to the traditional accompanying vices "sex, drugs, rock n' roll". Along with those obvious issues, this drummer has some serious problems with setting the right priorities in his life. It is my understanding that the drug issues have subsided at the present time, but he continues to struggle with making those who love him most important in his life. I would like to see him reach out to God too, that would be awesome!

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    3. I will be delighted to see you join us anytime with a post, comments or both, Jim. Life always trumps blogging and we have to work it out as best we can! :-)

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  2. Being married to a musician, I know how the life can be. However, it doesn't have to, and shouldn't, be. Bill was never like this. But, I would not have stayed if he had been. Supporting one's mate doesn't mean giving up your own self, morals and values. These are people we should walk away from, and leave to their own vices, which is ultimately what they want.

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    1. I don't know if that's what they want deep down, Annie, but is most certainly what will result if one is neglected or made to feel unimportant. You are right that there is always a choice to walk away from situations which you know aren't right, and ultimately this is exactly what I did, it just took a long time to give up hope of change, and then find the courage to finally go.

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  3. How sad it is that marriage can be so one sided and one partner does not cater for the needs of the other. It is difficult to see that he would ever change and it is perhaps time for her to draw a line at the bottom of that page in her life. I liked the way you took the reader and placed them in that house to witness first hand what was happening to her.

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    1. It is indeed sad to lose people who love you because you don't value them enough. This is the result of being self-centered and self-serving. I can assure you that one day the narrator of this story did indeed draw the line and walk away, and has never regretted it. She has a much, much better life now! ;-)

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  4. Sweetie is a musician, and yes, it can be this way. It doesn't have to be. The musician has to choose not to let it be.

    You've captured it well.

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    1. You are exactly right, Mimi... it is a choice, and he made the wrong one, investing all of his time and interest in the band, and neglecting those he had in his life who loved him. In the end he is left with nothing that is truly important.

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  5. I sure hope she did what I did!!!! Please, please, please.

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    1. She surely did, Lotta Joy, she left him with his drugs and his drumsticks and long lonely nights, and she went on to find a much happier and healthier life for herself! :-)

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  6. I'd have been gone a long time before this. What a horrible existence. Enjoyed the read very much.

    Have a terrific day. :)

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    1. She should have left much sooner, Sandee, but as you know, these kinds of situations evolve slowly and one day you realize that you are far from the life you started with and dreamed of and you've ended up in a hellish nightmare instead. No one can bring you to that realization until you are ready, and then - when the light finally dawns - it's time to gather up your courage and any shreds of self-esteem left and GO!

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  7. Great story! I'm sorry I haven't been able to participate in this weeks Two Shoes Tuesday. I've been having a little bit of a writers block, or maybe a bloggers block! I've just been focusing on getting better and have been wanting to take a break. I might not make a post this week, maybe next week. : )

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    1. I'm glad you liked this story, Joseph. I always appreciate you dropping by to read and comment. Take as much time as you need, writing ebbs and flows, we'll be delighted to see you back with a new story when you are ready:-)

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    2. I wrote a new story, I hope you like! : )

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    3. Heading over to check it out right now, Joseph! :-)

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Your comments are always appreciated... they make me smile! :-)