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Untying the Knots

When my daughter was small she took a liking to my brightly-colored balls of yarn, and spent many hours tying things together in knots... furniture... toys... and even people if you sat in one place long enough.  She loved tying knots, mispronouncing the word as  "snots"  which always made me laugh. :-) Walking through our apartment in Germany was often like navigating an obstacle course of yarn strands connecting chairs to doorknobs to God knows what.  Needless to say, tying knots is a lot easier than untying them.  That often proves true in the bigger picture of life too.

My daughter watched me struggle through three really difficult, abusive marriages.  After she completed nursing school and was out on her own, she was introduced to a great guy, also a nurse, and eventually she agreed to marry him.  They built a good life together, and despite personal struggles for her with depression and for him with substance abuse issues, they got along well and she loved him dearly.  They were planning to start a family. 

Then one day a little over three years ago he came home and announced that he wanted a divorce.  He failed to mention that he had been seeing someone else that he met at work.  Since she wasn't able to afford the mortgage payments for their home  on her own, he gave her one week to find a place and move out.  I went down to help her and we got her packed and moved into an apartment during a week of torrential rain.  She was heartbroken and emotionally shattered.  She was certain that she couldn't survive without him and that life alone would be more than she could bear.  I told her that sometimes in life all you can do is put one foot in front of the other, keep walking, taking it one day at a time.

The months that followed were a horrible struggle for her, she called often for reassurance... sometimes multiple times a day and late into the night.  I had promised I would always be a phone call away, and I was.  Little by little she began to put the pieces of her life back together and prove to herself that she could survive on her own, even if not happily.  After a year or so I encouraged her to consider relocating to a new city that wouldn't be filled with memories of times and places they shared, and an all too easy drive-by of the old house with his new girlfriend living there.  She agreed and checked out many possible cities and applied for jobs at numerous hospitals around the country.

Finally setting her sights on Nashville, she flew to interviews, accepted a great position at a huge hospital, and located an apartment.  Then she returned home to give notice on her job and old apartment and made arrangements to move.  In the end, she drove herself and her two cats across country to her new home, wanting to be sure they would arrive there safely.  It was her first long distance road trip and again she was unsure if she could do it.  We talked often as she was enroute, and she made it there just fine... again proving to herself that is is capable of more than she believes.

She has lived in her tiny apartment in Nashville for a year and a half now, getting her bearings, settling into her job, and beginning the long hunt for just the right home.  She looked at dozens of houses and even considered having one built but could never find a lot in her price range with plenty of trees.  Finally she saw just the right one and made an instant offer.  (Houses in Nashville are selling so fast that they are off the market within a day or so of being listed.)  She held her breath and was delighted when her offer was approved.  She closed on the house (shown above) this morning, nervous about such a long-term commitment but finding her courage, and as of today is officially a homeowner... and what a beautiful home it is! 

This is the beginning of a wonderful new chapter in her life, I wish her and her furkids many happy years there!  I remind her often of just how far she's come from that trembling woman who had to untie the knot and come to terms with her life unraveling.  The young woman who was so sure she couldn't and wouldn't survive alone (and believe me we all held our breath and prayed... a lot), has proven to herself that she can, she can build her own life and follow her own dreams.  (She had wanted to move to Tennessee from the time she and her ex honeymooned in the mountains there.) 

Just as my life is a testimony to surviving and overcoming, so is my daughter's.  She has joined the "survivors club", and I have no doubt that whatever life brings her way, she will find the strength and courage to face it and get through it.  Life isn't easy, we all go through bad times and heartbreaking experiences.  But when we find ourselves entangled in knots, we can untie them and begin again... always begin again!

As her mother, I am praying that one day God will bring the perfect soulmate into her life, just as He did for me.  She is finally ready for a new relationship to happen because she realizes that she isn't desperate... she doesn't need to find a man or have a man to have a good life, it would just be mighty nice if it happens.  :-)
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I'm linking up with Brenda Youngerman's Pondering With A Purpose
where this week's writing prompt is "knot"

18 comments:

  1. I wish you and her only wonderful things in this great new adventure.... The house is beautiful!

    thanks for pondering with me

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    1. That's my wish for her too Brenda, and I wish you the same luck in finding the new home of your dreams! :-) This was a perfect prompt for today!

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  2. First, what a lovely home she purchased. I'm so proud of here as you and I both know this pain. Yes we do.

    Second, she's better off without this guy. He's not worthy of her and she'll figure that out if she hasn't already.

    What a lovely post. I just love a happy ending.

    Have a terrific day honey. Big hugs. ☺

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    1. Thank you Sandee, I am proud of her too - she is learning the art of perseverance. It's essential to surviving the hills and valleys of life! You are so right that he is not the one for her life now, eventually she will find the one who is. One door must close for another to open, God has her heart in his Hands!

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  3. I am so glad that you are survivors! Congratulations! Keep up the good work!

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    1. I am too, It's an important lesson in life! I am happy for her, she has worked long and hard to make this dream a reality. It's nice to have something special to show for those exhausting 12-hour shifts of floor duty as a nurse!

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  4. We live; we learn. We try to teach our kids. They live, they learn. You love anyway. She will be fine. Hugs.

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    1. That's exactly right McGuffy Ann, that's all we can do is try to teach them and help them along. The rest is up to them. I do not take credit for my children, it is their choices and determination that has gotten them where they are. I keep praying, that's what we as parents do.

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  5. Love the house. I hope she finds lots of happiness there.

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    1. Thank you, I do too! She's been through some really hard times in her life, and I would so love for her to know that good things come to those who wait... and believe that it's possible! :-)

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  6. oh....what a truly lovely home she has! I'll remember her in my prayers too! Hugs.

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    1. Thanks Val, all prayers greatly appreciated! Hugs back to you!

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    1. Thanks Wayne, I believe that life has a way of working itself out if we are willing to be flexible and patient! (I'm not too good at either so I've had to learn everything the hard way! :-)

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  8. I do send my best wishes to your daughter. It seems she was married to the wrong guy, and though painful, untying this know is in fact enabling her to find a better life.

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    1. Thank you Shimon! I do believe that sometimes we need to let go of things in our lives that steal our happiness, even when that is painful and difficult to do, so that we can move on to better things and people who are better suited to us.

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  9. I would love a place like that...a true dream home!!!

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    1. I definitely would too Gail! My daughter has gone through so much in her life, that to me it is extremely joyful to see something so wonderful finally come her way, and she has worked hard and moved forward bravely to make it happen. She deserves this, and it's lovely!

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Your comments are always appreciated... they make me smile! :-)