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Searching for Answers

Do you watch the TV show "Long Island Medium"?  We do, and it's definitely interesting.  The premise is that dead people use this woman as a medium to relay messages to loved ones they have left behind.  I'm not here to make pass judgment on the authenticity of the show or mediums in general, but one has to admit that it is uncanny (and I'm sure at times a bit unnerving for those involved) how often she is able to provide enough information from the deceased that the family member is quite convinced that the connection is real. I sometimes question her sense of place and timing (such as interrupting a waitress or a store clerk while they are working to give them a message from a departed loved one), but if the show is to believed, it is undeniable that often the messages she relays provide a good measure of comfort and healing to those who receive them. 
 
Have you ever known anyone who had a family member or friend who died that returned in someway to communicate with them either through dreams, a ghostly visit, bringing something symbolic to their awareness, or some other method?  I know quite a few.  I was not able to visit my mother before she died but shortly thereafter I had a very vivid dream in which we met in a place that was familiar to us both, had a heartfelt conversation, and said goodbye.  I woke up crying as I was begging her not to go, but she told me that she had to, it was time.  Although I remember almost nothing of what we talked about, it was very real at the time and I have no doubt that she did indeed give me that opportunity to say goodbye. 
 
In the case of clients on the show, the Long Island Medium is often able to provide answers to things that have been troubling them and preventing them from moving on in life.  Sometimes they want to know what happened - how the death occurred or who was responsible, or if the departed one is at peace, and often if their loved one is going to still be near them and aware of what happens in their lives.  It is the traditional belief of many cultures that the spirits of the dead are not transported to some far off place, but remain ever near us and interacting in our lives, I believe that too.
 
As I thought about the show after watching an episode last week, a question came to mind.  If I had the opportunity, which deceased person that I personally knew would I most like to hear from, and perhaps have questions answered?   I asked Papa Bear, and his response was that he would like to connect with his father who died when he was just three years old.  He has no memories of him.  He said he would like to know if is father is proud of the man he has grown up to be.  I could answer that question for him, any father would be proud to call Papa Bear his son, he is a man who is much loved and respected no only in his family, but throughout the community.  But to him, it was important to know if his father can see him and has been present in his life.
 
For myself, there are of course questions I would love to ask my parents and grandparents, but the one unresolved situation that will haunt me to the end of my days stands out most clearly... my first husband - my daughter's father.  I would so like the opportunity to ask him WHY he did the things he did, and if he has repented of such evil.  Does he feel remorse?  Has he experienced forgiveness?  Is his soul troubled, in a state of anguish, or is it at rest?  And also, did he intentionally cause his own death? I guess on some level a part of me wants to know that a conscience existed somewhere inside his darkness, and that he now realizes how very badly he hurt people who loved him, causing lifelong damage and scars.  I am wanting him to be accountable for his actions. Perhaps that is too much to ask, maybe not. Is there forgiveness in the afterlife? I want to believe there is. Someday we will know for sure.
 
What about you? If you could ask one person you know who has died a question, who would it be and what would you want to ask, what answers are you still searching for?
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This post was written for Two Shoes Tuesday
where the prompts this week are search or flight...
come and join us there!

20 comments:

  1. I am somewhat skeptical about her ability. I have seen so many magicians do tricks that are clearly impossible, however she is very likable and entertaining.

    You ask a good question...I think I will just wait.

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    1. It certainly leaves one wondering if it is all on the up and up or if it's drama made for tv, Joe. I always have questions for everyone, so it just stands to reason that I would have questions for dead people too! :-)

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  2. Well I'm not so sure about mediums at all. I guess I just believe that once we are gone, we're gone. I believe there is an after life, but we will be disconnected from this life. We all believe what we believe.

    As for your ex-husband and father of your daughter, I don't know that either. We can hope he had the opportunity to make amends to a higher power.

    It would always be my mother that I would love to talk to again. Always.

    Have a terrific day honey. Big hugs from sunny but chilly California. :)

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    1. It's one of those things that we won't have the answer to until we are there instead of here Sandee! :-) I would love the opportunity to connect with my Grandmother. There is so much that I would like to ask and to know about her life when she was younger... before she was "Grandma"!

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  3. I don't have a TV so I have never seen this program. But truthfully if I did have a TV I wouldn't watch it. I think some things are best left alone.

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    1. We didn't have tv when I lived in Germany many years ago, Patricia, and in many ways it was good... we learned to keep active in other ways. Now, with the Internet, one can find anything in the way of news or entertainment, and it is as credible, or not, as one can fine on tv. I think many people would agree with you about leaving such things alone. It may indeed be "dancing with the devil". I know that I personally won't have anything to do with the dark side of the occult, I know the reality of it, and it is NOT entertainment!

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  4. For some questions there are no earthly answers. Questions often remain between the person and their creator. It isn't easy, nor does it make us wish for answers any less. But questions are not always answered, and even if they are more questions often remain. Many answers do not hold peace. You can only seek peace within yourself, not through others. Peace.

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    1. You have a good point, McGuffy Ann, sometimes having a question answered leads to more unanswered questions, and often the answers aren't the ones we want to hear. I know that there will come a time when I will know the truth of things... was he living out an assigned role? Is anyone ever assigned that kind of role in life? Do all dogs go to Heaven, even bad dogs? There will not be peace in my heart on that particular subject until someday when the blanks get filled in. I cannot reconcile myself to it. Wrong is never right, never acceptable. Forgivable? I don't know.

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  5. I have watched the show numerous times. I, too, find it interesting, even knowing that it is a "reality" show and some things are most likely set up. I do believe there are spirits around, but I'm not going to go searching them out. I've always felt that my grandma is hanging out, watching and laughing right along with us. I would like to talk with her, as I didn't get to see her nearly enough when she was alive.

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    1. I agree with you Christine, I'm not going on a "ghost hunt" of any fashion, I think that's inviting trouble, but there are certainly a few folks I would sure love to get a message of somekind from... I think!

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  6. I am not for the conjuring up of spirits or anything (haven't seen the show to give an honest evaluation) but I know that there are probably times that people who are deeply connected do reach one another in ways that defy explanation. I know that my Mom tells the story of when her mom died and we were living in Texas at the time (and she was in Georgia). She had a dream of her mom coming to her and they talked and her mom said goodbye then. I think that the Lord probably allows for time and space to be crossed for people in situations like this. Interesting!

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    1. I agree that there are situations when this occurs, Carrie, I am very much convinced that the conversation between my mother and I took place, and was not imagined on my part. The intriguing thing to me was that we "met: in the family room of a former pastor's parsonage - a room I had often spent time playing with my friend who was the pastor's daughter, and a room where my mother had no doubt visited as a member of her ladies church group, but she and I had never been in that house together, and at the time of her death it had long since been sold by the church.

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  7. Gosh that's a deep subject Josie! I do believe in all things like that but am very spooked also by 'ghosts' etc.
    I guess if they came in peace I would be happy to talk to anyone who visited me :-) I'm a chatterbox at heart! Thinking about it I would like to speak to both my grandads as I never met any of them and I have got quite a few questions they would probably be able to answer.If they do come to visit me now after I have said all this,I will freak out and be a very spooked lady! X

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    1. LOL Jess, I like to do some "deep thoughts" stuff every now and then! :-) I had to smile at you "chattering" away with spirits, that would surely be me too. It's true that as we go along in life we think of so many things we wish we could ask about. Maybe someday we'll have the opportunity!

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  8. Oh, Josie, so glad you asked. It would be my grandma, Blanche Laughlin, of whom I write so many poems via stories told by my mom. Blanche died when I was five, but she lives on in the tales. I'd want to meet her pre-shock therapy (she was bipolar like me, but in the Bad Old Days), when she was a real pip who could talk to anyone. Just an interesting, self-taught person. I'd ask her what her perfect job would be, because she was a savvy woman trapped in the old paradigm of housewife.

    Thanks so much for comments you leave at my blog, hon. Peace, Amy

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    1. From all you've written about her she sounds like a wonderful, full of life, real character, Amy. There is no doubt that her genetics run strong within you. Wouldn't it be fun if we could ask them more about how they viewed life and what their hopes and dreams were! So often we only know our Mom in her role of mom or Grandma in that role, but what about the woman behind that apron that we didn't know!

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  9. I've fortunately not had to experience too many deaths in my family except for my grandfather and grandmother on my dad's side, that both passed away. There is nothing that I want to ask anyone that has passed away except I would have liked to have met my grandfather and grandmother on my mom's side, that passed away before I was born.

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    1. I agree with you Joseph, I remember very little of my maternal grandfather and only remember seeing my maternal grandmother once, when she was dying. I would love to know more about them and their lives as Dakota pioneers! I'd like to meet my paternal grandfather too, he died when my dad was just twelve years old.

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  10. excellent..I like the way you pose the question...I've never seen the show but I do believe in the spirits and the next world as anyone can tell from my writing. I have never been contacted by any but that only means I'm not really on their wave length or I do not have any thing they want. I am funny about contacting those that have gone on. I know that when I join them any questions I may have will be answered. We will have for ever to talk about it. Also, I don't want them telling any secretes that I want to keep hidden.
    Hey, I may have just came up with a new story line.

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    1. I can't see myself actively seeking contact with the souls of the departed, GS, but if someone came up to me and said "I have a message for you", I'm pretty sure I'd listen and see if it rang true. I think there are far more charlatans than true mediums, but I do believe that spirit communication is a gift some have been given. We tend to fear and discredit what we do not understand. Oh, I so agree about the telling of my secrets... best kept for that biography some day long after I die! :-)

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Your comments are always appreciated... they make me smile! :-)