Quiet In The Corner
In real life, I abhor crowds, social situations with a code of dress and conduct, even small groups of people I don't know. A table full of women oohing and ahhing over the latest high dollar shoes or purse does nothing for me. I feel like the child raised by wolves at their table. I wear sandals, the same pair, day after day after day, they are comfortable. Does it really matter? I wear very little makeup, often none, and my long coarse hair in the varied shades or brown turning silver, flies wild and free, often looking like I didn't bother to take a brush to it. I like it that way, it's me. Yes, I could style it or curl it or pull it up in some fancy do, but I am not that, I am just me.
Because I am disinterested in superficial conversation, and have little to contribute to the chatter, I remain quiet and keep track of time, tensing in my chair until I can come up with a plausible excuse to enact an escape. Sometimes being in a group can be the loneliest place of all.
My coworkers know very little of me, a lesson learned the hard way quite a few years ago. Keep your personal life separate from your work life . Be cordial, friendly, and caring. Visit a bit about your weekend or kids or whatever, but leave the drama at home, and don't get involved in other folks' drama. If you were to ask any of my coworkers ten basic questions about me I really doubt they could answer, other than that they know I love cats, purple, seafood and blogging, because I spend most of my noon-hours doing it. Yet none of them was ever curious enough to ask what I write about. I am twenty five years older than everyone else there, I am the old woman, no one cares. But my age serves me well when it comes to relating to our clients and empathizing with their plights.
However, you can put me in a chair across from any person in the world - any age, rank, or status - just the two of us (or maybe a threesome :-), and I could spend hours having a wonderful conversation, thinking up an endless stream of questions to cover and topics to discuss. I am intensely interested in people - in their individuality. I do not have a group mentality. I do not see myself as higher or lower than anyone, we all "put our pants on one leg at a time" as the saying goes. We have more in common than we have different, if we get down to the heart of the matter, and everyone who lives and breathes has a story worth hearing, if you can get them to share it!
So yes, at a dinner party or a group function, I am most often the one sitting quietly or hanging tightly to Papa Bear's hand, and wishing I could disappear. I do not belong - it's like the lone cat sitting in a room full of canines! I am happiest when I am home, with my Papa Bear or alone, with my furkids, sitting right here sharing myself with you. This is not a created me, an image for imaginary friends as some have suggested... here you have the real me, out there in the real world I am the quiet one in the corner.