Pages

Not All About Me

During the April A-Z Challenge, all twenty-six posts were about me, and I labeled them such.  In reality, quite a few of my posts are about me.  I suppose that's  probably to be expected considering the nature of my blog, though I do throw in some fictional short stories, and a few posts related to other people, things and places for good measure. 

What about in everyday life, are you one of those folks who tends to think that everything is about them?  I'm not really talking about the people who believe they are the center of the universe and all attention should focus on them, though that kind of person can be very tiring to be around, and they also tend to be very jealous of anyone else who might be drawing just a bit of attention away.

On another level, I must confess that I sometimes fall into the trap of thinking that it is all about me when it comes to what other people are thinking and saying - or not saying.  When I walk into a room and it suddenly grows quiet, I am quick to assume that they must have been talking about me.  If someone I know is being extra quiet, then it must have something do with me.  If they make a remark that seems a bit cryptic, well most certainly they're referring to me!  See what I mean?  Sometimes we are so wrapped up in ourselves that we forget people have other things going on in their lives besides our presence, when just maybe it had nothing to do with us at all!

I've had to work hard to redirect my own sense of self worth to believe that not everyone is thinking or saying something negative about me, and in fact maybe they aren't thinking about me at all!  Really, to fall into the trap of believing it's always got something to do with you is rather egotistical in a twisted sort of way.  I'm learning, slowly, to let  go of that line of thinking.  The truth is, as much as I hate to admit it, it is simply NOT all about me!  And really, that's a good thing... it means I'm off the hook, and I can invest my energy in more important things than worrying about what I did wrong now, or what someone else thinks of me! :-)

14 comments:

  1. Amen & Amen. You have to accept that people have the right to control their feelings as you do yours. Life gets busy, and those who care are still there in spirit when they are busy, too. Those who are talking about you don't matter...unless it is good. And they let you know.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think so often we respond from a place of fear, McGuffy Ann - "they must not like me" or "they must be mad at me" or "I did something wrong". What's needed is more self confidence and a bit of detachment that says "I can't fix anything I am not made aware of, so I'll just work on myself and see what develops. You are right that those who talk about others aren't worth the time, energy or worry.

      Delete
  2. I completely relate to everything you state here! It is a good reminder, so thank you thank you! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's an easy trap to fall into, EireKitten, especially if you lack self-confidence. I am a work in progress, learning slowly to focus more on myself and being the kind of person I want to be, and less on how others react.

      Delete
  3. Most of the time I go about life in my ditzy daze and I am often quite surprised that anybody even notices me. Wasn't always that way but seems to be no that I am old(er).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think that's a great way to be Patricia, to me it means that you are comfortable in your own space and aren't overly concerned with the way others react to you. I'm getting there...slowly. :-)

      Delete
  4. I should proof before I publish the no was meant to be now...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do that all the time - my fingers don't always type what my brain tells them to! I knew what you meant, I am good at keyboard shorthand. :-)

      Delete
  5. While I am not a fan of aging, one thing I do enjoy is the realization that people are busy and I am rarely on their minds. My daughter is currently a teenager and in the throws of "what will people think?" I try to help her through, letting her know that they won't think nearly as hard on it as she believes they will, but I think it is just something we all have to learn with age.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am not a fan of aging either, I wish there was a way to avoid it! :-) You are so right, we weigh far less on other people's minds than we might think or even want to believe. Though it would be fun if we had a telepathic button that lit up every time someone had a nice thought about us! :-)

      Delete
  6. Well I don't think it's all about me. I don't think I ever did and what others think or say is out of my control for the most part. I just try to be nice and if that's not enough then it's their problem not mine. I've more important things to do than worry about that. I do see your point though.

    Have a terrific day, and remember I like you bunches. ☺

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've spent way too much of my life worrying that someone was upset with me for one reason or another, believing that it was nearly impossible for people to be pleased with who I was. I now know better, I am what I am, and I'm happy with that. Others are free to take it or leave it, I don't intend on making any major changes to appease anyone but myself. :-) You are right, we do have more important things to worry about!

      Delete
  7. *nodding my head in agreement* Yep, I totally understand what you mean. I believe it stemmed from my insecurities and fears. Now that I feel better about myself, I don't worry nearly as much. If they are talking about me, there's not much I can do anyway. Negative gossip will always exist, it's how I react to it that's important.

    This is a rocking piece of writing, Josie. =) xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That exactly right, Elsie, and if they are unhappy with you and don't have the courage to speak up, well... then I guess it's their problem and not mine. Communication is always the key, and it has to work two ways. My days of trying to guess and figure out "what's wrong now" are done. Love me or leave me, whatever suits you best!:)

      Delete

Your comments are always appreciated... they make me smile! :-)