Pages

Meet Me At The Paradise Motel


I'd never been to Paradise, and judging from the seedy little motel, I wasn't so sure I'd found it now.  When Selma called and said she'd finally left that bastard Frank, I was packed and headed for Paradise in less time than it took me to take out the trash in the morning.  Selma and I go way back; we went steady in high school for three years, then we had a fight over some stupid damn thing, and she hooked up with Frank and ended up pregnant.  It's been nearly twenty years, and all this time I've been waiting for her to call.  I'm thinking that if Selma really is here in room 117, I must have died and gone to Heaven after all.

*~*~*~*~*~*~
I'm linking up with Lillie McFerrin's Five Sentence Fiction
where the writing prompt this week is "paradise"

28 comments:

  1. That is packing a lot of story in 5 sentences.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Five sentence story writing is so challenging for me Joe, it's hard to tell a story with such a minimal plot line and still provide enough direction to covey the message or feeling you intend. I usually write from a female perspective, so this one was a bit different for me, it fit the mood of the piece better I think.

      Delete
  2. Good One! I am glad she called you after so many years

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The amazing thing is that people really do connect after many years of going their own way in life. I like to think when that happens that it was intended, maybe they had things to learn before they were ready for each other. Papa Bear and I never would have made it if we met 25 years ago, now we are perfect for each other. Life has a way of mellowing you. :-)

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. Thank you very much Green Speck, it was time for something a little different! I don't like to get stuck in one mindset too long, it's much more fun to play with different approaches to life. :-)

      Delete
  4. Very well done. Very well. Hubby and I wouldn't be together today if we had been 25 years ago either. I was way to wild back then. Way too wild. It was fun though.

    Have a terrific day and weekend. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Sandee! Back then I was stubborn and willful and didn't have any sense of filtering my thoughts before they popped out of my mouth. But I have some wonderful memories of those early years too, it was a different world then, and it was fun!

      Delete
  5. Great story, and I love the picture you posted with it. I think I know that place...

    Also, Frank and Selma are perfect character names for a story like this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you KR! I go with the first names that come to mind for each character and usually that works out to my satisfaction. If you have indeed been to the motel pictured above, that would surely be a story in the making! I actually miss those little backroads neon-sign motels of years gone by, many fond memories of such places.

      Delete
  6. Wow! That's a heck of a lot of imagery in five sentences. Great job, Josie! Loved it and thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Alex! It was like pieces of the puzzle coming back together, the hard part was making them fit in such a tight frame. :-)

      Delete
  7. An interesting take on the prompt. You just never know what will happen in life. Sometimes you just have to take a chance.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I try to find a different take on the prompts when I can, McGuffy Ann. You are so right about life, if we don't take a chance now and then, we may be missing out on what might have been the best thing ever. Life has a way of bringing us to what we need.

      Delete
  8. A lovely story, what a reunion for Frank and Selma. Well done

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Mary! Yes, imagine the excitement - and nervousness, when meeting up with someone after that many years!

      Delete
  9. I liked your story a lot.
    You said in a comment you were experimenting telling the story from the male perspective well it worked well - I have been doing that recently with my flash fiction, it's a great way of trying out different voices.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, it was a fun challenge to try on another perspective!

      Delete
  10. I like your take on the prompt and hope the two of them find their slice of paradise.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope so too, Sarah Ann, I hope they both learned enough in the years between that they will cherish each other and make up for all the years they lost!

      Delete
  11. This story could go either way - narrator being a jilted man or a woman whose loved one had "jumped the fence" to lead a straight life. Either way, you really dug in and communicated the feelings of anticipation SO well. I remembered times like that, where it's almost a taste in one's mouth. Loved this, and all your writing, Josie! Will see you tomorrow. Peace, Amy
    http://sharplittlepencil.com/2013/03/17/five-years-old-first-circus/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought that too, Amy, that it didn't necessarily have to be a tale narrated by a man. Either way the reunion was going to be so very sweet, I just know it! We don't really find out who we are until a bit later in life.

      Delete
  12. Aw, I liked this, sometimes you just need to wait...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Lisa, sometimes the best things happen later in life!

      Delete

Your comments are always appreciated... they make me smile! :-)