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Inspired To Love

 
Reading about the varying opinions on Valentine's Day... what is and isn't expected, who likes the traditions and who doesn't, etc., got me thinking about the whole "demonstrating our love for one another" thing when it comes to relationships. 

If you've ever witnessed a group of guys huddled around the greeting card racks or floral arrangement display on Valentine's Day,  you've learned the meaning of desperation.  Does this card say enough?  Too much?  Is it big enough? Too big?  Is it too frilly?  To plain?  What about flowers?  Candy?  Will what I choose please her?  What if it doesn't?  And most importantly... why did I wait to the last minute again this year?

Many men seem to dread this "obligatory" gifting, fearing that they will come up short and fail the test of love.  In fact, they dread it so badly that they put it off until the last possible moment, then scramble to find something suitable among well picked-over racks, and to make dinner reservations if they can find a place that isn't already booked.

 Does it really have to be this way?  Should it be such torture?  One of the arguments often heard is "I'm not a romantic type of guy."   Is it really that you have no feelings of tenderness or a clue about what make the lady of your life smile?  Or does it just require a lot of effort to come up with a plan? 

Also fair game is the question of why is it just the men who are expected to "ante up" for Valentine's Day?  Isn't romance supposed to be a two-way street?  Ladies, have you got some plans in the works to make Valentine's Day something special to remember for your man?  Guy's like a little tangible proof of love and affection too!  Romantic doesn't just mean flowers and candy, or even sexy lingerie, though there's certainly nothing wrong with that if it makes him smile.

What matters, I think, is the whole motivation behind giving and doing for each other... do you do it out of a sense of obligation, because you feel that you have to for one reason or another - or do you do it out of a true sense of devotion, and a desire to do something that you know will touch the heart of the person you love?  And, do you really think that putting on a big display just one day a year, with very little show of affection the rest of the time, is what it's all about, is it what she/he really desires?

It is said that we make time for the things that are most important to us.  Where does your "Valentine" fit on your list of priorities? Are they up there at or near the top, or somewhere further down the list?  My belief is that if you have someone special in your life that you truly love, then you are also in tune with them enough to know what little things mean the most to them.  Is it flowers, candy, jewelry, dinner out, or maybe a day all to herself where you take the kids and disappear?  It might be something is simple as a nicely-scented candle, one unique and beautiful flower (it doesn't need to be a dozen roses, and maybe she likes daisies even better). 

What about for him? Cooking up a his favorite dinner, a new book by his favorite author, or a new release video game?  Tickets for his favorite team's next home game or a movie he's been wanting to see?  How about tucking a kid-style valentine somewhere for him/her to find, or a love note stuck in a purse/briefcase, or under the windshield wiper of the car/truck? Write a note on a mirror with a "white board" marker,  email a photo of a good memory you shared, compose a silly love poem and post it on the fridge, or send a text out of the blue that says "I'm thinking about you right now."

Do you get what I'm saying?  If you say you care about someone deeply,  let that love inspire you to make them feel special, not just on Valentine's Day, but any day!  The more unexpected, the more fun it is!  Say "I love you" every day, and take the time to say hello and goodbye, share that kiss, give each other the look that says "Wow, I think  you're something special".  It's not an obligation, it's a way to pay it forward, and I guarantee the return will come back to you a hundred fold!  Someone who feels loved and appreciated will love and appreciate you back, it's a great cycle to get started, one that grows and grows! 

Most importantly when the day comes that you must say that final goodbye to the one you love, you won't have a heart full of regrets for the time you wish you'd spent, and the little things you wish you'd done just to make them smile and know how much you loved them.

This year, let your love inspire you... don't do it begrudgingly or out of a sense of obligation, do it because you love them and you want them to know!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~
This post is linked to Two Shoes Tuesday
where the prompt this week is "inspiration"

TWO SHOES TUESDAY 

10 comments:

  1. It is important to show that someone special that you care, but where, how and when should not be dictated by Hallmark and some made up "Holiday."

    Love is best expressed in deeds and actions, not words and stuff.

    My tongue in cheek post on this subject is scheduled for Wednesday.

    Happy Valentine's Day to you and yours!

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    1. I totally agree, Joe, and I'll be watching for your post tomorrow!

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  2. I totally agree with you (as I imagine most guys would). A real man does it with his daily actions not once a year made up obligations. Personally, I think Valentines Day often brings out the worst in women.

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    1. I agree with that too, Wayne. I've seen offices become miserable situations for those who don't have a sweetheart, when those who do flaunt their haul of flowers, candy, and such. It's rather a sick competition of sorts. I refuse to play along. I know how much my husband loves me, and the only one that needs "proof" of that is me... I get it daily and it comes easily, without expectation.

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  3. I have a special delivery of chocolate covered strawberries headed my hubby's way, two cards that I will hide, one before Valentine's Day and one on Valentine's Day. Plus, we each surprise each other with cards at least once a month. It's the little things that count.

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    1. Those are lovely ways to share, Elsie... most of he guys I know love candies and treats too! Cards and notes are fun to exchange anytime for any reason, or no reason at all. It's the inspiration to just "do it" that makes it special, not the required occasion. I really detest obligatory gifting, it takes all the fun out of doing it just because you care.

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  4. Valentine's day is really for those that feel they need to show their love once a year because they are told to and need to make businesses make a profit. True love is a continuous flow of affection throughout the year. for all time in fact. My wife and I used to exchange cards but that was it mainly because others would say to her "What did you get/do for Valentine's Day?" as though it was an essential reaffirming of the vows ceremony. Not for us it was easy to do that every day!

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    1. Exactly, Old Egg, love shows itself all the time, in so many big and little ways. It doesn't require a card or a box of chocolates, or high-dollar jewelry or dinner. I am rich beyond words in the love I receive from Papa Bear, and all it costs him is a sweet word and a smile :-) (Though I did suggest another kitten would be nice, and he seemed to go a bit deaf right about that time. ;-)

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Your comments are always appreciated... they make me smile! :-)