He wove his spell around her innocence like the silken threads of a spider's web, taking care not to disturb her sensibilities. He charmed her with tender words and bouquets of summer flowers, and took her walking by the river among the trees. He made her blush when he talked of her classic beauty, and convinced her of his honor by the gracious manner of his ways. When finally he seduced her she complied willingly, smiling sweetly up at him beneath the canopy of trees. Then he slit her throat, and whispered softly as she lay there bleeding, "Such a sweet thing, what a pity that you have to leave."
*~*~*~*~*~*~
I'm linking up with Lillie McFerrin at Five Sentence Fiction
where the writing prompt this week is "delicate"
where the writing prompt this week is "delicate"
Good heavens and my oh my with this one! Wow. Such evil wrapped in charm and seduction. Great web you've woven with words!
ReplyDeleteVery evil indeed, Carrie. Sometimes people are not as they seem, this speaks to that in the extreme sense.
DeleteWhen you talk about things which are DELICATE one of the first images you get is that of a spiderweb. Albeit it might be DELICATE there's a lot of powder hidden in its strand. GREAT TAKE on the prompt.
ReplyDeleteI loved the way you mapped your post onto the classic line. "Come into my parlor," said the spider to the fly.
Would love to hear your feedback on what I did for this prompt. THANKS
You are right,Robin, the delicicate appearance of a spider's web is deceptive, as was the man in this story so different from what he appeared to be.
Deleteooops ... what a scary ending !!!
ReplyDeleteNot exactly the where one would this this relationship was headed, Green Speck, but then life is like that sometimes!
Deleteoh my -- that is seductive.
ReplyDeleteps -- I love the phono on your background -- delightful! -- lol -- and then I think of the ending of your story -- I love the juxtaposition.
I smiled at this comment, Louise! Indeed the girl with the soft pastel background of flowers has been known to write from the darkside now and then, it is the duality of my nature. Perhaps in writing fiction we can release the negative energy that we don't want to preserve inside of us.
DeleteWow. What a great story. Loved the gentle, loving way you built it up and then with a quick slash of the knife turned the whole thing on its head.
ReplyDeleteThanks MJ! I love a twisted ending to see if anyone is paying attention as they read along! :-)
DeleteOh, good God! This prompt of "delicate" seems to have inspired the dark and murderous in so many this week. Mine, too, involved bloodshed, albeit of a different kind.
ReplyDeleteI was stunned at the end of this piece. Good job at a powerful surprise ending.
LOL Jayne, indeed it hasn't been one of our more cheery prompt responses, has it? :-) Stunned is exactly the response I was hoping for!
DeleteThis sounds like the beginning of a murder mystery novel. Such a silver-tongued devil! Let me tell you, that's no way to treat a lady.
ReplyDeleteIt certainly could prove an introduction to tale of serial murder and mayhem, KR! It is clear that this evil man had a plan from the beginning, and most likely will have more once this one is dispatched! You are right, this is no way to treat a lady at all! :-)
DeleteBeware the charming man. A stunning, graphic end to a beautifully descriptive piece. x
ReplyDeleteIndeed, Lizzie, sometimes the smoothest of characters are the ones we'd best be concerned about! My mother used to say to be wary of men who were too charming to be believable.
DeleteWHOAH!!!!! I did NOT see that coming!
ReplyDeleteGood, VV! That's exactly the effect I wanted this short story to have, to build up a scene in our minds that is suddenly shattered by a horrific ending. Better in fiction than in real life, eh?!
DeleteWhat a wickedly clever - and shocking - take on "delicate." And truthfully, this is the root of abusive situations - most not so fast in ending. All flowers and clover... and then comes the fist. This stopped me right in my tracks. You've got it, sister. I mean it. Amy
ReplyDeletehttp://sharplittlepencil.com/2013/02/02/about-the-unexpected-little-visitor-dialog/
Thank you Amy! Wicked indeed. Papa Bear rolled his eyes when he read this. His wife as a tendency to wade in dark waters now and then! You are exactly right, that underneath this chilling tale is a lesson of real value, that not everyone is as they appear, and it is so very easy to be drawn in with charm. Sometimes angels can be demons in disguise. I've lived that nightmare, I know of what I speak.
DeleteNote to self: Don't trust charming gentlemen. Totally anticipated him taking her virtue, not her life. NIce twist, that.
ReplyDeleteOften we have a sense of things being "too good" or "too wonderful" to be right or real, Chantel, and it's important that we listen to that voice within us. If a thing appears too good to be true, it might be disguising something more horrible than we an fathom. We can see how easy it would be to fall for this man's charms, to be taken in by his woman-pleasing ways. I'm sure she never saw it coming, so often that's how the story goes.
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