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Pondering... Balance


In this week's Pondering With A Purpose, Brenda asks,  "Do you feel out of sorts? Off balance?"

That could be me up there on the high wire stretched tightly between work and homelife, between want to do and must do, between resentment and forgiveness , between yesterday and tomorrow.  It is a rare time in my life when I feel that I have things in balance. It is a rare week that something doesn't seem to come along and take away my sense of calm and direction.  I tend to lurch back and forth from being on the right path to swinging widely off kilter, and I ponder often what it would be like to have a life of true calm and inner peace that lasted more than a day. 

I fantasize that maybe if I didn't have to go to work, or maybe if we had a bit more money, or maybe if people understood me a little better or I didn't let their lack of acceptance get me down, maybe then I'd feel more balanced... but I suspect that then I would just blame other reasons for my sense of discomfort and being "out of whack".  (What is whack anyway and why is it in such short supply?? :-) 

The hamsters running in the wheel of my brain seldom seem to take a break, even when I'm sleeping. I over-think things, over-analyze things, and over-react to things.  I am introspective, I am sensitive, and I am deeply affected by the sensory input of the world around me.  I find it hard to be detached and less caring, hard to say "oh well, nothing I can do about that," when deep down a nagging little voice says "but maybe there is."  Maybe, if I had a hundred hours in a day, and enough energy to fill them, maybe then at the end of the day I could say "Ahhhh, this has been a good one!" As it is, I am always feeling cheated and wanting more time, more energy, more freedom.  To much wanting leaves one unbalanced. 

I know the answer is to find acceptance that life is what it is, and brings what it does, that people I care about will come and go despite my best efforts to prevent it, and that life itself will change in ways I am unprepared to deal with.  Peace is what happens when you learn to go with the flow.  I will be fifty-nine years old next month, maybe I will reach that point of spiritual balance yet before I leave this world. It's possible... anything is possible if your heart desires it!

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               I'm linking up with Brenda at Pondering With A Purpose
here this week's writing prompt is "balance"
 

16 comments:

  1. Hi my dear friend!

    I can relate to this post so much. I completely identify with the over-thinking, over-analyzing.

    I have emailed you, sweet friend! I hope you have a marvelous weekend!

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    1. This is the real Josie - uncut. :-) I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who sometimes feels this way. Just sent an email back in your direction, thanks!

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  2. you know that saying about granting us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change.... that is what this is all about.. Accepting those things we cannot control and rolling with the punches. That doesn't mean they don't hurt..because they do. But they make us stronger too.

    I love you too Josie!

    Thanks for pondering with me.

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    1. You are right Brenda, that is probably one of the issues I struggle with the most, accepting some things as beyond my power to change or control. I don't like to leave anything unresolved, and I am frustrated when I feel there is so much more I could be doing if I only had the time and energy. But then I have to realize that if God wanted me doing that, He would make the time and way clear. Maybe someday He will! :-) Yes, getting our wind knocked out hurts a bit, but I always come back stronger, more determined to survive in the face of windstorms! Thank you for this great weekly chance to do a bit of "deep thinking" on stuff! :-)

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  3. Seems to me you've got plenty of "wack." I guess if you feel totally balanced you might not be living your fullest.

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    1. Thanks Joe! I agree with your line of thinking here. :-)

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  4. Letting go isn't as balancing as it may seem. Take it from someone that has no problem saying, "that's as much as I can do" and walk away. My rational brain knows I've done all I can, my irrational brain spends the next several days wondering if I could have done just a little more.

    Luckily, my rational brain has duct taped the mouth of my irrational brain so I do get some peace.

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    1. Good point Monkey, same here. Perhaps I need to borrow your duct tape! :-)

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    2. If that duct tape isn't in short supply please roll it my way next!

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    3. LOL Ruth! I have always wished there was an off button on my brain, that I could just shut it down at night for some restful sleep, and also during the day when it tends to slip into over-drive and run me off the cliff! :-)

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  5. it is hard to keep balance in our busy lives...very thoughtful post!!

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    1. It is, Kathe, I struggle with it, but am working on steps to get my life into a more comfortable place. Thanks for stopping by to read and comment!

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  6. My goodness, I swear I heard the sound of my voice when reading your words! It is as though you were speaking right out of my spirit. Really, I couldn't agree with your thoughts and feelings more.

    I am a Libra (will be 59 this year) and I always jokingly say, "I am a perfectly balanced Libran gal." Someone invariably seriously replies, "That is an oxymoron." I think they are correct, ha!

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    1. This made me smile, Ruth. I can so relate! I am an Aquarian who will also be 59 in just a few weeks, and my mind is anything but balanced, always off on another tangent, or two, or three. I strive to put more balance in my life overall, but I find myself drawn to mind play... writing, reading, and of course I love the human interaction of blogging. I suspect I shall die with dirty dishes and craft projects left undone! :-)

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    2. Well, along with that pile of dishes and unfinished craft projects, let me thrown in a mile-high pile of todo lists with only 1 or 2 things crossed off each list. Dare I toss out the lists - in order to organize my desktop(s) - or would I just keep the pile ever-growing? I think I need to contract selective amnesia so I can forget about anything and everything except the task at hand that I should be foducsed on. Seriously, just reading the comments on your post here I jotted down a half dozen new todos for things to write about or create! Gheesh!

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    3. I am an adult poster child for ADD, Ruth, reading and writing seem to be the only time I can really focus on the task at hand. I have the same thing happen with reading other posts and comments... my list of post topics just grows longer and loner! I can't relate to folks who say they don't know what to write about, I never have that problem!:-)

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Your comments are always appreciated... they make me smile! :-)