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Pondering... Close


In this week's Pondering With A Purpose, Brenda has begun a new series of posts pondering words that have double meanings.  This week's word is CLOSE.  What is interesting to me about this word is how, depending on pronunciation, it can be used to talk about opening your heart to be close to people, or the exact opposite... to close yourself off from from people.

I think most of us have reached out to someone a time or two, trusted them and opened ourselves to them, only to be rejected and shut out, either initially or at some point in the relationship. It's frustrating, it's confusing, it hurts... but that's life.  Sometimes people are not what they appear to be initially, sometimes things happen that cause them or the relationship to change.  There are times that a relationship is worth fighting for, and there are times when it is just better to walk away.  The tricky part is knowing which is which.

I tend to open my heart easily to people, I love easily, I care easily, I share too much of myself at times.  When I am blindsided or that trust is betrayed, and the connection I thought existed proves to be something different, I get angry.  I don't like being manipulated, and I don't like being led astray.  For better or for worse, I find it very easy to close someone out of my life if I feel that my trust has been violated, or if they turn out to be something different than I initially believed.  I'm not saying this is a good thing, it's just how I am.  Being real is incredibly important to me, so is being open and honest. Good communication is a must.  So while my feelings get hurt if someone rejects me, I know it is also within my nature to do the same.  Maybe in a way it's being pro-active, saying that I am not going to allow this situation to become one where I can potentially be hurt. Sad but true.

At the same time, I think it's really important that we don't get into the "rock" routine where we close ourselves off from relationships with everyone, where we let our past hurts weigh on our heart so heavily that we are unable to open up to or trust anyone.  Maybe people can survive as islands unto themselves, maybe, but you miss out on so much joy and encouragement that can be gained by reaching out to others, by sharing your thoughts, dreams, and lives!

There are going to be times when we get burned by relationships, but I hope that the day never comes when I decide to give up on people altogether, because by and large, most of the people I meet and interact with are pretty darn cool!  We all have our quirks, but that doesn't mean we can't work together, and enjoy each other in the process.  Thanks to Brenda's prompt, I think I am going to ponder a bit more on my tendency to close people out.  Maybe I'm the one who is missing out when I do that!
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I'm linking up with Brenda at Pondering With A Purpose
where this week's writing prompt is "close"

8 comments:

  1. Personally I have a 3 F rule. The first time someone hurts me I forget about it. The second time I forgive them and third time is F off. It has only happened a few times in my life but it has happened.

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    1. I love this rule... I'm going to remember it for the future!:-)

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  2. I've never been good at ending relationships. I have always tended to hang on to them long past the point of it being healthy. I'd just throw up some walls to deflect some of the pain. Learning now to tear down all those walls and to let go when it needs to be done.

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    1. I used to be like that too, Stacy, hanging on for dear life, and somehow believing it was the right thing to do, even when it became painfully obvious that the other person wasn't invested in the relationship at all. Now I don't waste a lot of time on people who don't want to share in my life, there are always a few others who do!

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  3. great post again Josie.... and I am right there with Stacy. I tend to just put up the walls rather than walking away (which would of course by the healthy choice!)

    Thanks for pondering with me!

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    1. I love your "Ponderings" Brenda! They give me a chance to reflect on life a little bit. I've learned that putting up and maintaining those walls of self-preservation takes so much energy that can be better spent on people you trust and feel comfortable with. Freedom means I am free to be me without fear of rejection! :-)

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  4. I hang onto relationships no matter how many times I'm taken advantage of or hurt. Then there comes a moment when I say "ENOUGH!" Even so, as years pass, I wish it could change.

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    1. used to be like that, Lotta Joy, the eternal optomist that belives the situation might improve if I try hard enough. What I've learned is that it takes two trying hard, a bird can't fly with one wing no matter how hard it flaps! I try to be patient and tolerant, but if you shut me out emotionally or treat me in an unkind way, as far as I'm concerned, you HAVE made a choice to end the relationship, and it's time to say goodbye.

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Your comments are always appreciated... they make me smile! :-)