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Between You and Me


Just between you and me...

"I heard that her husband is seeing some waitress on the side."

"Did you know that she goes home and drinks until she passes out at night?"

"Look at what she's wearing!  She must be shopping in her daughter's closet!"

"Her neighbor says her kids are always dirty and hungry and she lives on her cellphone."

"I heard he is working two jobs just to cover his wife's online shopping addiction."

"Did you know that one of their kids got arrested for stealing from the neighbor?"

"I heard that her daughter has a different boyfriend every week, bet she'll be pregnant before long."

"She thinks she's so smart, really the only reason the boss likes her is because she's a kiss-ass."

"Maybe if they stopped having kids they could afford a decent house and car."

"I think my daughter's PE teacher is a lesbian, I've heard they're all like that."

"Did you know that he married her right after his first choice dumped him?"

"Look at that baby, sure doesn't look anything like her or her husband, does it?"

And on... and on... and on.  Get the picture?  Gossip... it feeds on pettiness, negativity, and a sense of superiority.  It serves no good purpose and causes so much hurt and harm. 

We all know that there is no such thing as "just between you and me" because within a few minutes... or hours... or days, what you shared will be shared with someone else, and they will share it too.  Soon it takes on a life of it's own and the rumor becomes gospel, and before long folks will be looking at the target person in a strange way, thinking they know some dark secret, when in reality they know nothing at all about that person or what their life is really like. 

Imagine a world where, instead of gossiping and attempting to devalue others, we spent our time and energies reaching out in friendship and caring. What if we all made a New Year's Resolution to be nicer this coming year?  Is it really that hard to be kind?

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I'm linking up with Megg at  Sunday Scribblings
where the prompt this week is "between you and me".

22 comments:

  1. You wouldn't think it would be hard to be kind it's true - you try and convince yourself that people are perhaps afraid or insecure and so waggle their tongues but it is a foul trait..peculiar to women maybe? Physical violence is never right but at least a punch up is over and done with quickly..things you overhear are so painful..I like how you started with the quotes..a different story in each one..but the same undercurrent perhaps..Jae

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    1. will never understand why it seems harder for folks to be nice than nasty, Jae; and yes, women do seem more prone to it than men, though I have worked with a couple men who outdid the women when it came to running gossip up and down the halls. I agree, I'd rather deal with my enemies face on than have them trashing me behind my back. Those kinds of hurts are far harder to heal. The stories that gossip feeds on are endless, I guess it makeslife seemmore exciting if we are "in the know", but so very little of gossip is accurate, and even if it is, it would be an act of kindness not to share it. Gossip serves no good purpose.

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  2. I despise gossip!! so cheap and trashy.
    nominated you for an award 2012 blog of the year I hope you accept see myownheart.me

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    1. I despise it too, Len, it is hurtful and unkind! Thank you very much for the award!

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  3. You know I am dealing with this right now in my life Josie and what is REALLY hurtful is when the person tells others it is done because she cares??? WTH how can you care when you are sharing something hurtful so yes she can say she is nice & others say she is nice but I say she is GOSSIPING because NOT ONE person she is sharing with knows me nor does she anymore. A W E S O M E post love you for making me feel right in letting go!!

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    1. I have gone thru that same issue with a relative, J, where they claimed the personal things they had shared were because they cared about me and were just looking out for me. I don't think so, that was not an act of caring! Needless to say, that permanently damaged that relationship and I no longer allow that drama in my life! Good for you for deciding you are better than that and worth more, and moving on. Don't waste any energy on her that could be better used for healing. Put her on permanent IGNORE! ;-)

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  4. Amen. If we really treated others the way we want to be treated, we would all be happier. If we think before we speak maybe we wouldn't say some things.
    It's okay to be upset with what someone says or does, we are all human, but it isn't okay to attack them or cause them harm, in any form.
    Great post, Josie.

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    1. So very true, McGuffy Ann, we do need to learn to think before we speak. Words once spoken can't be taken back. There is a difference between having a disagreement and saying mean things just to attack, or worse yet saying them behind someone's back!

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  5. There are no taking back hurtful words. It's hard for me to remember sometimes but I have to remind myself, if I would be ashamed for the person to find out what I've said about them, then it shouldn't be said.

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    1. That's the best measure of all, if we wouldn't want it said about us, and we wouldn't want the person to know we said it about them... don't say it! It's that simple! We don't have to say every dumb or mean thing that comes to mind! :-)

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  6. sounds like a very good new year's resolution

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    1. I think so too Shimon, I know I'm going to be working on being more aware of what I say!

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  7. Shallow people, shallow lives, shallow opinions and evil minds. Sock it to them Josie!

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    1. Amen to all of that Old Egg, there has to be something better to talk about than other people's issues!

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  8. Such a powerful post Josie.

    Well said!

    I'm with you!

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    1. Thank you Louise, that kind of negativity becomes such an easy trap to fall into, and it's not the kind of person I want to be!

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  9. Josie, thanks for your caring and understanding words on my blog.

    As for this, AMEN, sister! Well done on you. Call 'em out.

    NOTE: Your "forward" page? It has a comma after the "www" instead of a period, so the link didn't work. Had to hunt down your cute little self, so fix that, OK?

    Also... feeling better day by day. HOPE is what it's all about, right? Love, Amy (this was starting to come out of it:)
    http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/12/02/devil-and-the-deep-blue/

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    1. It is so good to see you out and about, Amy! The sun always returns after the long dark night. I'll get that link fixed, thanks! Glad you liked this piece, every now and then I've gotta do a bit of ranting. Gossip is such a pathetic use of time, energy, and breath! :-) Headed your way now. Hugs!

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  10. Oh yes ! so much time wasted in such talks ..
    we could use it for being helpful to atleast one person , it be a better world :)

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    1. Absolutely Nimue, only small-minded people spend their time talking about other people. Think of all the positive things one could say in the same amount of time! I think people should be fined everytime they open their mouthes and say something mean, hurtful or stupid, either that or shot! ;-)

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  11. Such a great message! What a wonderful world that would be!

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    1. Thank you Robyn, that's the way I see it too. If we each tried to do just that one little thing it would make a world of difference!

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Your comments are always appreciated... they make me smile! :-)