Let It Go
I like to think that I'm a fairly reasonable person. I try to play nice with others, I try to practice the Golden Rule. But some days... I just want to scream and yell and slam things, and grab someone by the neck and say "What the hell is wrong with you?"
Hypocrisy is one of my pet peeves - such as people who claim to be religious but in practice treat other people like yesterday's garbage, or people who say they are team players but in reality are self-serving and back-stabbing... you know the kind!
I can deal with people who are just plain outright nasty... at least you know that if you "poke the bear" you do so at your own risk. It's those folks who put on the best fake fronts and have others convinced their actions and intentions are honorable, and yet you know for a fact they are nothing like they appear.
Without going into specifics, I've been dealing with a situation at work for the last couple weeks that pisses me off greatly. Under the guise of friendliness and feigned innocence, one of my coworkers likes to load me down with work at the end of the day that could easily have been dealt with earlier in the day, or even yesterday or the day before, IF they had been on task instead of bull#%^$&ing when the supervisors are out.
It is my way to get mad and then to get over it. When it happened last week, I made a rather vague remark and went home angry, but decided maybe it was just an off day for a person I usually get along with ok. So I did what I almost always do... I shook it off, let it go, and started the next day with a clean page. I honestly believe that's the right way to deal with 90% of the petty issues in life... get over it... let it go... start again.
Then the same thing happened again today, and I have to admit that as I scrambled to get the tasks completed by closing time (essential since they needed to be ready for tomorrow morning), I was so mad that every muscle in my body was tense and my blood pressure was up by at least 20 points.
The seemingly obvious answer would be to just go have a friendly little "chit-chat" about the issue and ask how it might be resolved. Talking things out one-on-one is my way to deal with conflicts, and to me it's the most sensible approach. But in this particular case that isn't going to work because that person has a host of "I was so busy" excuses, and is in cahoots with a tag-team partner when it comes to retaliation. In other words if I make waves, they will damn sure rock the boat and I will regret it. It's easy for them to do, subtle things to make another's job/life difficult.
Option B - I could go to my supervisors and say "Hey, give me hand with this situation." But the reality is that this method hasn't worked in the past, them preferring to not get involved in co-worker issues... maybe unless it comes down to murder?! It also means that something would have to be said about it, and referring to Option A, I would pay for "causing problems".
Then there is Option C - our off-site manager. She is my age and far more no-nonsense. I have no doubt if I emailed her that the subject would be addressed and resolved. She doesn't mess around when it comes to what she expects of employees. But... once again, refer to Option A, and as soon as this issue was addressed it would put me directly in the line of fire. Add to this the ire of supervisors who find themselves caught in the middle of a sticky situation that long since should have been addressed but continues to be ignored.
Sooo... I can create an incident, even if in appropriate context, and incur the wrath of coworkers for calling them out on their unsportsmanlike conduct, or I can go home angry and scream and yell and cry in frustration. Or... I can once again take a deep breath, exhale slowly, and let it go. I know that ultimately is the easier answer - don't let it get to me, ignore it and carry on. But I've gotta say... I am so damn sick of a lifetime of "letting it go" when it comes to inconsiderate, ill-mannered people. I understand why quiet people one day lose it and go "postal", I really do.
Can anyone explain to me why it is so hard for people to treat each other with kindness and respect? I am too old for this childish crap. I wish they were too. Breathe Josie, breathe!