Banging My Head

This week Brenda at Ponderings of an Author asked, "Do you learn from your mistakes or do you keep doing the same behavioral patterns over and over again?"

Let me tell you straight off that I am the queen of bull-headed behavior, doing the same things over and over again "my way" (translate that to mean with little forethought)... and then getting to live with the disasterous consequences. 

Growing up in the "If it feels good do it" generation, I tend to act and react on impulse.  In my younger days I mistakenly believed I could control the outcome, or at least turn things around to make it work for me.  Ha! I was kidding myself, totally. 

Thirty years and three failed marriages later, I finally reached the point where I knew something had to give.  Obviously, my way of playing the game of life wasn't taking me where I wanted to be.  I had to look honestly at the choices I'd made in the past, especially in relationships, and I came to the realization that I was making the same mistake over and over... I was choosing bad boys - the misfits, the screwed-up ones.  I was thinking that different was cool, but I didn't realize that there is a fine line where different crosses into difficult and then down-right dangerous.  I spent many years of my life trying to make those relationships work, but no matter how hard I tried it couldn't be done, and I know now that it was never meant to be. 

So after a half-century of hard times and heartache I took stock of my life and looked at the common denominator in my choices of partners, and then decided I would make a radical change and seek someone who was the direct opposite... normal, responsible, respectful, trustworthy, romantic, helpful, giving, caring, believing, well thought of in the community, and above all real... a what you see is what you get person.  Then God brought him to my doorstep via the Internet... and the rest is history. 

It's been four amazingly wonderful years now, and I tell people that God saved the best for last, when I would understand and appreciate the value of the man Papa Bear is.

This same lesson has carried over into other aspects of my life.  I've learned to look at my mistakes and where my past choices have taken me, and then to be courageous and determined in making changes that will point me in the right direction.  I can well attest to the fact that pounding your head on the same old brick wall repeatedly leads only to bad headaches and broken bricks, never to enlightenment. 

If you want something different to happen in your life you have to do something different!  What steps are you willing to take to initiate change?
Linking up with Brenda at Pondering With A Purpose 
where this week's prompt is "history"


  1. Thanks Josie. I needed this...It all makes sense now, after many many mistakes. This reminds me of the quote "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results"

    I'm glad you figured it all out and are happy now!

  2. Great post! So glad it worked out for you in end -maybe there's hope for me yet.

  3. I enjoy your writing. You have a nice turn of prose.

  4. Congratulations non getting it right. I nearly lost my chance at Mr. Right but I got the my sight back and worked for 40 years to keep him.

  5. congratulations on finding happiness... I am still searching...
    great post and thanks for pondering with me!

  6. Your posts are always very genuine. Thanks. I don't even know where to start seems no beginning or end. Hugs.

  7. So glad you finally found your love. took me a long time to figure out my happiness didn't lie with another until I was happy with myself. I once believed that I had to have someone to keep me from being lonely once I found I was happy with me I could be alone and not be lonely, then my love fell in my lap..see my post "My honey has a secret...another honey"


Your comments are always appreciated... they make me smile! :-)