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I Believe in Rainbows


I believe in rainbows.  I wrote that last evening in a comment on my previous post. As I was typing it, something told me to use it as my post topic for today.  At that point I wasn't exactly sure what I was going to write about it.  Funny how things happen at times that make more sense to us later on...

I work for a law firm that handles Social Security disability claims. Shortly after I arrived at work this morning I received a phone call from one of our clients. We will call her Tonya.  She is just a few years younger than me.  Tonya told me in a shaky voice that she had attempted to commit suicide on Friday night by taking an overdose of medication.  She was taken by ambulance to the local hospital and spent the weekend in ICU.  Tonya remembers little of it, and nearly accomplished what she intended to do.  Now she's been transferred to a behavioral health services hospital for follow-up care. She says she's not doing too well.

I've met Tonya a couple times when she has come in for appointments, but I don't know her well, and wouldn't be able to pick her out in a room full of people.  Yet her call took my breath away.  I spoke to her kindly, with as much encouragement as I could convey, then I hung up the phone and cried.  I cried for all the calls we've received like this, people who are struggling with huge physical and/or mental issues.  I cried for the ones who have been rescued, and for the ones who didn't get help in time.  I cried for the friends and loved ones who've attempted to end their lives, and for those who succeeded.  I cried for the times in my past when I strongly considered that option.  To be in that place is to feel no hope for your life, and to want the pain and suffering to be over.  It is a very dark and lonely place. 

I wanted to tell Tonya about rainbows... the beautiful band of colors we see arched across the sky after a storm.  I want to tell her that rainbows are God's promise to us, that He is always with us, and that life will go on.  I want her to know that no matter how hopeless life feels at times and how dark the night is, there is always a sunrise to follow, and in time she will find her way with bright colors returning to her life too. 

At one point when I was living with my ex, more existing than living really - and just barely that, I stood outside one evening trying to clear my head and figure out what to do.  It had just finished raining and a huge rainbow arched across the sky overhead as the sun peeked back out from the clouds.  Within minutes yet another rainbow crossed over the first one directly above me.  I took it as a sign that God was there with me, I wasn't all alone.

I didn't know it that night, but the storms raging in my life were soon to be over. God had plans for me more wonderful than I ever could have imagined.  Look at my life now!  It is indeed a rainbow of peacefulness, laughter, security, and the joy of being loved!

I think back to the other times, years ago, when I didn't think I could endure another day of the life I was trapped in.  I had a precious friend who always used to tell me in our late night phone calls that things would change, that it would get better,  and to just wait and see.  I didn't really believe him, but I wanted to desperately.  He was offering me hope, and I held on tight to a tiny corner of it... he was my rainbow.  He was also right!  My journey was going to take me down more dark roads and many twists and turns before I made back into the sunshine, but if I had chosen to take the shortcut back then, to skip out on the rest of what was planned for me... just look what I would have missed!  I would never have known how good it can be, and how very much God loves me. 

Yes, I believe in rainbows, and I want you to know that no matter how dark life feels at times, there is always hope.  If you just hold on tight, there will be a rainbow after your storm too.

12 comments:

  1. The rainbow was actually God's sign that the Flood was over. Obviously, for generations it has remained a symbol of Hope. Without hope, there is no point. Without Faith, there is no hope.
    Sometimes it turns dark, and there seems to be no hope. Faith is then jeopardized. We need to be reminded. This is a great post. Thanks.

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    1. Thank you for the wonderful shared thoughts, Annie. You are right, hope and faith are interconnected, we cannot have one without the other. It takes just a tiny bit to keep us going, and for life to have a chance to regrow.

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  2. Well, Josie, I have to say that after reading this, that today, for me, you are the keeper of the rainbow. Thank you. You have reminded me of things I was beginning to lose sight of.

    I do hope that Tonya is OK....

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    1. I've lost sight of hope more than a few times in life Selma. Now I look back and wonder why I had my eyes so tightly shut against the light of truth. It's really such a simple thing, no fancy doctrine needed. Rainbows are such beautiful things, a wonderful reminder of how beautiful life can be. If there were no bad times, how would we appreciate the really good times?! ((HUGS))

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  3. Oh, it's so hard to encourage people who despair... I hope that you succeeded with Tonya. You're right, of course. And your life is a very good example of how things can work out even when they seem impossible. Very nice post.

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    1. It is indeed hard to reach a person who has closed themselves off due to pain and fear, Shimon. We can't open the door for them, but we can let in a crack of light in the form of letting them know someone cares and reminding them that there is tomorrow... and each day we start again!

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  4. What a beautiful post -- your heart shines throughout.

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    1. Thank you Dear Friend! It was an emotional morning. Sometimes it takes a nudge of reality to remind me of what is most important. I really try to be caring and to convey that with each client I talk to during the day. It is one way I can make a tiny difference in the world. ;-)

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  5. Your trials of listening could be equated with the fact that it could be YOU on the other side of that phone if you had stayed where you were.

    The night I realized I was barely existing, and started thinking about ending it all, was the night before I stumbled into a divorce lawyer's office. I doubted there was a rainbow out there for me, but I was SO exhausted from existing under a rock, where there isn't even a CHANCE to see a rainbow.

    Thank you for this post.

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    1. You are right, Lotta Joy, and I totally relate to what you are saying about being under the rock. If one lives in a bad situation long enough, it becomes your "normal" and you lose sight of the fact that it isn't normal at all, that other people aren't living this kind of hellish existance. I am glad you crawled out from under your rock, and I'm glad I did too!! :-)

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  6. Thank-you for sharing this post. Very encouraging. : )

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    1. I am glad you found meaning in this post, we all need a little encouragement from time to time, and we often find it here, among our fellow bloggers. Thank you for taking time to leave a comment, I appreciate that! :-)

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Your comments are always appreciated... they make me smile! :-)