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Guessing Games

 I am not good at guessing games, I don't enjoy them.  I am very much an out front "what you see is what you get" type of person.  If I think something, I'll say it; if I want to know something, I'll ask; and if I want to share something, I will.  I don't expect others to read my mind, that could be a scary experience! :-)  Likewise, I don't enjoy trying to read other people's minds, read between the lines, or decipher cryptic messages or silences.

It's like the folks who post a vague comment on Facebook  such as "Wow, I can't believe this happened" or a mysterious quotation with no further explanation as to what it's all about.  That translates as one of two things to me... either (A) you want me to ask, responding to your need for attention, or (B) you don't want me to ask, you want me to ponder it and come up with possible scenarios. You want me to worry about it. In reality I find it just plain annoying.

I once worked with a woman that frequently, at least once a week,  wandered in the hallways moping, head down, walking slowly, sometimes teary-eyed, looking like a lost soul.  This generally achieved the desired result... which was for everyone to take notice, ask what was wrong, and attempt to comfort her for the issue of the day.  I learned to ignore her altogether when she was putting on a show.  I'm not saying that no one ever has a down day or doesn't have the right to show it, I'm just saying that regularly scheduled performances are overkill and eventually have the opposite effect on folks... no one will take notice, and no one will care when the time comes that you really do need a bit of comfort.

The folks who don't want to tell you what's bothering them, or will tell you when asked that their comment meant nothing, bother me even more.  Something had to be on your mind to inspire you to post that picture, or that quotation, or that comment!  If you didn't care to share your thoughts, why bother to share anything at all?  It's kind of like saying "I want you all to notice that I'm upset, but I'm not going to tell you why."  Childish, irritating, frustrating, time wasting! 

For heaven's sake, if you've got something you want to say, or need to say, just say it!  I deal far better with situations that I am aware of than I do with situations that leave me playing guessing games. Most often I will decline the invitation to play.  No thank you, I don't need this kind of drama in my life.

20 comments:

  1. I'm with you 110% on this one, sister. Drives me batty. As far as I know, there is only one person on my FB that does this. She's my age, and also posts pictures of herself posing in the bathroom mirror...explains everything.

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    1. LOL Carrie, the former coworker I mentioned also had a pendchant with daily photos of her face, sometimes with the most horribly back contenance... once sticking her tongue out at us, much as a four-year old might!!!

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  2. I'm in agreement with you as well Josie. It tends to leave me more annoyed than sympathetic. I so hate the open ended Facebook posts.
    Also, I have young female cousins & nieces who have some dramatic life changing event happen to them every single day. I just want to say to them, if you can't survive high school, life is going to beat you to a pulp!

    Oh well, I like to talk too much to leave a comment of my own just hanging there. :)

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    1. Ahhh yes Ken, those "wonderful" hanging comments, be they on Facebook or in person. So very annoying!

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  3. Interesting post. Since I'm not on facebook, I don't think I've had the experience yet... but if the provocation was interesting, I might respond. If it was uninteresting, I would ignore it. I don't like teasing much either.

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    1. You are not missing much regarding Facebook, Shimon. The only reason I maintain my account is to keep up with friends who live further away. The daily social banter is trivial at best.

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  4. Well said Josie.
    I think that some people thrive off the drama that life's trails presents. It's all about gaining attention, the less they reveal the more likely one is to pry, thus giving them yet more attention.
    Most people realize this after a while and so start to avoid reacting to them.

    I'm so glad I'm no longer on Facebook. :D

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    1. I weigh deleting my Facebook all the time Lily. I have to said it's decreased my opinion of many folks I originally had higher regards for! Yes, the drama queens, those who love to keep others swirling in their wake, no thank you... not for me! It is such an immature way to relate to one another.

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  5. I don't like drama either; it's exhausting. I think sometimes, perhaps just some people, need to put something out there. Sometimes it is just to get rid of it. While it may not mean something to you, it may to someone else, & maybe FB is the only way they can do it (and feel "safe"). Whatever reason, don't feel you need to try to understand or be responsible for others. Let them be responsible for their own voice and how they use it. You do great with yours, but not everyone is as gifted or skilled. I am glad you are, though.

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    1. Drama is emotionally exhausting, Annie. You make a good point about letting other people being responsible for themselves and their own voices. It is my option to walk away if I tire of the drama or vague remarks. For one with an inquiring mind, wondering what is meant can be maddening! ;-)

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  6. Well, the drama queens (or kings) on my timeline do sometimes annoy me, and I tend to ignore them. But, I will speak up in defense of the mysterious quotation, or maybe song lyrics and movie quotations. I've been known to post those a time or five myself. Not because I'm looking for any sort of mass attention spell, but because right then, at that moment, it's the best way to say what I'm thinking/feeling. I don't have tons of people on my friend list, but I do have people from many different aspects of my life, and they know different parts of me. Sometimes, when I post those sorts of things, I figure it's possible not all of them will understand, but it's not really meant for all of them, anyway. Those who are part of that part of my life I'm talking about will understand. And, really, it doesn't matter how clear and detailed I am in my posting, that's always the case. When I say something about an incident with my husband or son, my family and closest friends will know exactly what I'm talking about. Some of my other friends and acquaintances will have enough information to form a pretty decent guess of what's going on. But some of the people reading it will have absolutely no clue of its importance. Facebook brings people together and keeps them in touch in a brand new way, which means we're all going to be privy to conversations that we wouldn't have been in the past. I find the best way to deal with it is just to stay out of the ones that don't seem to pertain to me.

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    1. I know what your saying is correct, Cheri, our Facebook audience tends to be widespread. I try to keep that in mind when I post things, I don't care if all understand or appreciate my sentiments, but if it's of a more personal nature you probably will find me writing about it here instead of there.

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  7. I'm I wrong to read this as a dare? :)

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  8. I FEEL THE GUESSING GAME IS BAITING ME INTO SOMETHING I WOULD RATHER NOT BE A PART OF TO BEGIN WITH SO I HAVE NO FB OR WANT ONE, GOOD POSTS JOSIE :]

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    1. I think that is so often true, Janice, no need to play into personal drama issues. If something is really bothering you, talk it out with a trusted friend, but don't fly it out there on FB just so everyone knows you are not a happy camper... and even more important... DON'T go badmouthing people there. Words once posted to FB can never be retracted and ultimately they make the writer appear rather pathetic!

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  9. I hate this kind of thing. One of my pet hates is people being cryptic. Just say it. SAY it. I won't guess. I won't dig. Just spit it out. Drives me mad....

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    1. Me too, Selma, it just annoys the heck out of me! If you really don't want to share it, then why bring it up! And if you do want to share it... DO SO! I won't play it either, nor will I play the "guess why I'm not talking" game. I've had coworkers who used that as a constant attention getter. I use IGNORE for attention games, if you want my attention, all you have to do is tell me! :-)

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  10. Yes Facebook gets annoying sometimes!

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    1. I tend to roll my eyes and move on a lot, Kristi, if it becomes an ongoing theme with someone, they get unsubscribed. :-)

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