This week's Sunday Scribblings prompt is "In The Beginning"...
that it was better not to get involved in other people's problems; and
I believed him when he said I didn't know enough to handle things on my own.
In the beginning I believed that "the group" knew the answers...
one world, one way, a new day - or so they said.
I believed that the world as we knew it was going to end soon,
no need to prepare for a future in traditional ways.
In the beginning I believed that my first husband was brilliant,
and he was - according to the numbers;
I believed him when he said the child I was carrying would die if it wasn't his.
I believed him when he said he really didn't mean to strike her when she cried.
I believed them when they said he had a right to spend time with his child.
In the beginning I believed that my second husband was much better than the first,
I believed him when he said that he would take care of me and my child.
I believed he would learn to love her, I believed he would learn to trust me.
I believed he could control his drinking.... and his anger.
I believed him when he said that I didn't have the balls to leave him.
In the beginning I believed that my third husband loved me,
I believed that his mellow manner was natural, not the byproduct
of a chemical high.
I believed that one day I could become number one in his life....
not making music, not using drugs, me.
I believed that if I did everything exactly right I could make him happy,
and he wouldn't get angry or hurt me.
In the end, I learned that the only one I could really believe in was me.
And then, I met the Papa Bear...
In the beginning I believed that no man could be trusted
I believed he would change once the other foot fell
I believed it was only a matter of time before his sweetness ended
I believed it was impossible that he could really love me.
Eventually I learned that I was wrong about many things
I had come to believe;
The truth is that he is good, and kind and trustworthy,
and yes...amazingly, inexplicably, he really does love me!
In the end I realized that I am smart enough and strong enough to survive.