Saturday morning finds me in my usual place, in my rocking chair in front of my laptop, catching up on blog reading and trying to write with my arms stretched over Stormy, the sleeping elder cat curled up in my lap. I can't bear to put him down, he so loves to snuggle in and snooze. Ahhh to live the life of my cats! :-)
It's time for another round of Six Word Saturday, and this is what's on my mind...
Freedom Is Not Just Another Word
Being an Aquarian, and true to my sign, I am freedom-loving to the point of passion, maybe even obsession. I don't do well with arbitrary limitations or heavy-handed control on my life. I have had way too much of it. "Don't tell me what to do" I will shout in anger, "Ask me, but don't tell me!"
My friend Elsie commented on a recent post that she knows how much I cherish my freedom. I suppose it's fairly obvious in my writing that freedom means a great deal to me, in fact it means everything. Lines from old poems I wrote years ago, spring to mind...
"I remember watching Autumn thru wire-covered windows... Then and now, I do not know I will ever be free of the restrictions placed upon my life" - from a poem about a time of confinement.
"But I will live and someday may be free" - from a poem regarding the mindset of my first husband, and the obsessions which killed him.
I was looking thru some blog posts from years back, and I noted how often I spoke of freedom in those days...
"Freedom came with a heavy price" - about the months after leaving my ex-husband.
"Free at last" - when bankruptcy proceedings which consumed my life and took well over a year were finally concluded.
"My boss released the balloons outside... free... like me!" - following my final day of work at a job I held for 19 long years.
In fact, when I ran a search of my old blog, the words free or freedom appeared in over 40 different posts! It can safely be said that freedom is precious to me. But there have been times when I wondered if freedom truly is, as the song said, "Just another word for nothing left to lose". The struggle to regain myself, my identity, my very soul, meant losing nearly everyone and everything I once loved. Freedom does indeed come with price, but it is worth every penny of it!
My life now is more free than it ever was... I am free from abusive ex-spouses; I am free from job environments that destroyed my desire to give all that I had to give; I am free from constant financial worry; I am free from living in a place owned and controlled by someone else; I am free from the noise and chaos of crowded living situations; I am free from needing to pretend to be something I'm not; I am free from the guilt of my past; I am free to express my thoughts and feelings here without fear of repercussion; I am free to love, and I am free to be loved. I am free to love myself!
Yes, there are days and times when I feel the stress of being limited by time, money, or necessity. I can't do everything I want to do, I can't refrain from doing everything I don't really want to do; but when I review the list above I realize that I am ever so much more free than I once was, much more than I ever thought I would be. Truly, I am blessed. Freedom is a precious gift, cherish it... I do!