After much contemplation, and supper, and scooping the cat boxes, here are my Questions and Answers to Round #6 of One Question Wednesday!
From The Ranting Monkey - As people get to know you, what about you seems to surprise them the most?
Well, I thought I would be
lazy brilliant and survey my "many" friends to get to the bottom of this. Not surprisingly, some of them failed to submit an answer, thus leaving me to ponder if the surprises of getting to know me are not something one wants to declare. Oh well, what can I say? I am what I am! Some of the responses I did get were not terribly surprising - things such as that I have several tattoos; that I was involved with men in the past who brought me down and seemed to be such opposites of me, and that I remarried again after those experiences; that I am a crazy cat lady; that I'm intelligent and seem to know about a lot of things; that I have "adopted" a bunch of rez kids, and that I have retained my hippie mindset.
Along with that I've been told by more than one person in the past that they are surprised to learn that I am more liberal than I might appear, and have experienced a little more than one would think. Yes, that's true, I have been around the block a few times in 58 years! :-) The first impression I give people probably isn't all that awe- inspiring since I am just your plain-jane, middle aged, office worker in the comfy clothes, long flying hair and little make-up. If I don't know someone I am taken as shy, and maybe even as judgemental because of that. (Note - silence doesn't always signify displeasure, for the most part I just enjoy being a passive observer.) However, I think if folks stick around and get to know me they will find me to be a devoted friend, and a lover of long, deep conversations! :-) Now I'd like to hear from the rest of you, what about me surprised you as you got to know me??
From Louise - What is your biggest fear?
Well, I have three that kind of loom in the background, It would be hard to state which of those is biggest. The first would be the loss of my husband. He is my rock, my joy, my love, my life. He is by far the best man I've ever known. Before him my life was nothing like it is today, and without him it would be much less. Love is knowing that you belong, and that's such a good feeling! I would survive if something happened to him, it isn't that I can't function on my own, it's that life wouldn't be nearly as fulfilling or fun, and I wouldn't feel safe and cared for. He is irreplaceable and I wouldn't even try.
The second big fear would be loss of my/our ability to support myself/ourselves. Things get more and more expensive while income never increases proportionately. When you are looking at retirement age, a fixed income is a frightening thing. Every single day I deal with people who have lost their cars, their homes, their ability to pay for needed medications/medical care, or even put food on the table, etc. because of debilitating illness or injury. I see their desperation and how little our country offers in the way of resources to help them. It is truly terrifying.
The third thing I fear is my daughter giving up on life. I try hard to instill the "survivor" mentality in her and most days she does pretty well with it. She has come so far from where she was a few years ago, but at times she still gets so depressed and despondent that I worry she will lose her way, or I will lose her altogether. That's a parent's worst nightmare.
From Ken - What was your best day?
Obviously my wedding to John, and the births of my two children are happiest days in my memory. Also high up there is the time I first visited Red Cloud Indian School, that I talked about a few weeks back. I am going to go with a different angle here and say that my "best day" was the day I told my ex I was leaving after developing a plan of action to make that happen. It wasn't a fun day, it was a heart-breaking day, but it was still my best day because it was the day I finally said "ENOUGH" to the abuse. It was the day I took back control of my life, it was the first day of the rest of my life! As is said by many people in those kinds of situations, I wish I would have done it ten years earlier. But at last I did it, and I am so grateful that God gave me the strength to go!
From Jo-Anne - When you see someone when out and about who is looking like a misery guts do you ever get the urge to go up to them and poke them in the ribs and say it can't be that bad cheer up?
I do get fed up with people who are chronic whiners, such as a coworker who starts out nearly every morning bemoaning how tired she is, or the person who chronically complains about their spouse, their kids, their job, or their life, and especially the "why me, woe is me" folks who always find a reason to be gloomy. I want to "enlighten" them with the reality that they have the power to do something about it so "just do it or shut up about it already"! Of course I'm not really that mean, and I don't say it, at least not in those words or that way. But folks who are chronically dumpy or grumpy are wearing. Attitudes are so very contagious. I am a morning person and don't like my morning dragged down! Most often if it's a chronic problem I will pretty much ignore that person and learn to tune them out.
On the other hand, if someone who is not usually miserable, or some stranger I don't know appears to be sad or struggling, that brings out an entirely different reaction in my. I want to help, I want to make it better, I want to find a kind word to say, or at least offer a hug or a smile. I don't like to see people hurting. Usually that's when we tend to feel most alone. I try to reach out whenever I can find a way to do that. Not always with answers, we don't really have the answers for anyone but ourselves, but at least with listening or a gesture that says I care.
From Bozo - What makes you the most excited? (I mean positive excitement... not anger.)
I get excited about doing something fun with my husband, he only gets one Saturday off a month, so we really look forward to that. We fantasize about what it would be like to be retired and plan our day's activities together.
I get excited about the rare times I get to be with my kids, and even more so when I manage to have both of them in the same room together with me, such as when we visited them in Tennessee last fall. I don't get to see them nearly often enough.
I get excited about vacations... going new places and seeing/doing new things. I especially love quiet beautiful places such as the beach at sunset! Noisy crowds are not my thing.
Not surprisingly, I also get excited when I have the time and opportunity to engage in long conversations either in person, on the phone, or even via text, email, blog or Facebook about real subjects and interesting stuff.
I get excited when I get to ask questions... lots of questions, probing questions! I could easily keep everyone going with daily questions to answer for years and years! Curiosity should be my middle name. I think it's an Aquarian thing!
Do you have a question about me that I haven't answered? Feel free to leave me any question anytime on my blog. Answering questions is almost as much fun as asking them! :-)
McGuffy Ann just tossed another question my way... she asked What is your favorite song?
There are so many songs of different types I love for different reasons, McGuffy Ann, either the lyrics, the memories connected, or the way they make me feel. If I had to choose just one to represent my life, it would be Bette Midler's The Rose. It says it all, perfectly. Her Wind Beneath My Wings, comes in a close second! I love ethnic music as well, such as songs by Enya and the late Ofra Haza. Then there are the 60's/70's classics... always a trip down memory lane! :-) This will probably seem weird, but I don't play a lot of music, and haven't in several years. Why? It reaches me too much, too many emotional connections,and usually makes me cry.