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Questions and Answers - #5


Here they are... my questions and answers to this week's round of One Question Wednesday!  (Haven't had a chance to play yet? It's not too late, leave a question in the comments section and I'll answer it and update this post.)  
    1.  From Kristy - How do you motivate yourself to do the things you don't want to do?  The honest answer is "not very well", Kristy. The older I get the worse I've become at procrastinating right down to the last possible moment, and then stressing because I do. Really dumb!  Some things I opt not to do at all, and the things I really must do I generally set up a reward for myself... When you get this finished you can have this or do this.  The trick, as we know, is to just get started on it, one little piece of it. Once the task is underway I have no problem getting thru it, I just have trouble organizing the start. But it feels SO GOOD when I can cross something off my way-to-long "To Do List"! 

    2. From McGuffy Ann - What is your biggest pet peeve with others, & with yourself?  It's hard to narrow it down to one McGuffy Ann! The thing that probably bugs me most, because it affects me the most strongly is people who wear TOO MUCH perfume or cologne. It's intended to be part of your personal space, not a 30 foot cloud spreading out in all directions! Due to allergies and asthma these folks unintentionally make life miserable for me - I get bad headaches, watering eyes, asthma attacks, and can even taste the stuff long after the person wearing it has left the room!  Hell is getting stuck sitting next to someone in a public situation that has bathed in perfume. It honestly makes me physically ill, and stresses me out badly. Along with that is the annoyance of people who don't try to understand the situation and assume I'm stating an opinion on their choice of perfume. It's not that it smells bad, sometimes it smells good - it's just that any strong smell affects me adversely.

    My pet peeve with myself, hmmm -  another long list, but I'd have to say my bad habit of talking too much in a conversation, of being so excited and eager to communicate with someone on a level higher than "nice shoes", that I tend to bubble over and ramble on and they have a hard time getting a word in. I do listen too, but sometimes I'm rather like the dam that burst under too much pressure!

     
    3. From The Ranting Monkey - What one thing turns you on more than anything else?  Well, I suppose I could be graphic here and say a well-skilled tongue, but that might be TMI, so I'll go with something that will make all the younger readers go "ewwww"... I find hairy men VERY sexy!  (The Papa Bear says I have a fur fettish. LOL)  I am not into the waxed, buffed, meterosexual look of today's young men. Give me a real man, big and strong and furry! Facial hair is a big plus, and long hair is to die for! (Yes Monkey, it's that hippie thing coming out again :-)

    4. From Jo-Anne - If you only had months to live would you rather know or be left in the dark?  This one was easy Jo-Anne, I'd definitely want to know. I like to deal with life head-on as it comes, and I don't like bad surprises.  If I knew my time was short, I'd do all the fun things I love most and go to all my favorite places, and say goodbye to everyone that matters to me one last time... and I'd do it all with my beloved Papa Bear right beside me.  This is a situation he sadly knows too well, as his previous died of breast cancer. She opted to forgo invasive treatment in it's late stages so that they could spend her remaining time together, and they did,  right down to her very last breath.  That's real love, and I wouldn't want it any other way!

    5. From Kristi - You talked about your daughter and her divorce and how devastated she was. How is she doing now and is she doing better emotionally/mentally? Is your son in a relationship?  This is a hard one, Kristi. I've started to blog about it several times and I always end up deleting what I write.  My daughter's husband left her for "the other woman, a younger co-worker" two years ago. It truly broke her heart.  The way he went about it  left her believing that it was all her fault, which compounded her already very low self-esteem.   She mourned the loss of their relationship deeply and is just now coming to terms with life on her own.  She finally moved to a new city and state last year and that's been good, no memory connections every place you go, but the bottom line is that she is terribly lonely.  She's been in several short-term relationships but not to anyone that is a good match for her, and most are either too old or unstable.  She also continues to deal with depression, but has done amazingly well at her job as an RN and makes a very good income. It takes all her energy to get thru those long 12 hour shifts though, and doesn't leave a lot of motivation left for getting out of her apartment.  She is house hunting and I pray she finds something she likes, she really misses having a nice home of her own. I pray even more that God will send a nice guy her way, it would make all the difference in her life.  She is emotionally fragile, full of self-doubt and deals with other issues as well, including Type 1 diabetes. It isn't easy when you are dating.

    As the weather warms into a beautiful green Spring in her new state I'm hoping she will also perk up and try getting out a bit. I give her all kinds of suggestions, but you know how that goes when it's mom's advice! I remind her that the only guy who is going to show up on her doorstep is a plumber with droopy pants! :-)  At least she has proven to herself that she can survive and she can take care of herself without depending on someone else.  That in itself is a major improvement. The last two years have brought her and I very close together, and that is one blessing that has come out of the storm. I assure her that she won't always be alone, I just wish it would happen sooner instead of later.  She is 37 and feeling so old.  It breaks my heart to hear the sadness in her voice.

    My son lives about sixty miles from my daughter and is doing great, though he remains single at 34 by choice.  He was in one longer live-in relationship several years ago and wisely decided it wasn't right for him, also a few shorter relationships here and there, but nothing he was ready to commit to. He says he "enjoys his freedom and his money" too much!  He also has seen how poorly most marriages fare, and wants to wait until he finds someone that feels just right. Wise kid! And here I thought he'd get stolen by the first hot blonde that flashed him a smile in his early 20's. Shows you what I know!  He is also very private and always has been, so I don't hear a lot of his dating stories, but do get some details and occasional pictures. He has lots of friends and is happy with his career as an air traffic controller for the DOD and his life. He owns a beautiful home there. 

    Sadly, I have no grandbabies of my own to spoil, and it doesn't look like I will have anytime soon.  John has six grandchildren, with the youngest being ten and the oldest 22. They are all great kids, though they don't live here so we don't get to spend much time with them. 

    6. From Cheryl - What impact has the friendships you've made through blogging had on your life?  Impact isn't nearly a strong enough word when it comes to what effect my blogging buddies have had on me, Cheryl.  It is not an exaggeration to say that several of you are responsible for saving my life!  I started blogging at a time when my life was in a very dark and dangerous place and I no longer had any will to survive.  Then when I finally found the courage and determination to move out on my own, the drama continued for months, along with a lot of loneliness from living in a small town with few ways to meet new people.  I literally lived in blogland some weeks/months, and poured my heart out all over my posts.  Thank God for the amazing patience and encouragement from the people I was blogging with at that time.  It made ALL the difference in my life!  Since then I've drifted away from blogging now and then, because I have a wonderful husband and new life, but I truly missed keeping up with the friends I have here and making new ones, so I'm back, writing away, wearing out people's eyes with my long-winded posts, and enjoying every minute of it.  I love to write, but even more I love the interaction and discovering so many people that actually make sense to me and seem to "get" me. I didn't know that was even possible! :-) 
    That about wraps up my Q&A for this week.  Many thanks to each of you for playing along. I totally enjoy tossing questions your way too, and getting to know you better. And, as my friend The Ranting Monkey also noted, feel free to leave a question in my comments anytime, not just for One Question Wednesdays. It gives me something new to ramble on about. Asking and answering questions are two of my most favorite things to do!  Hmmm, I can see my Five on Friday list starting there!!  :-) 

20 comments:

  1. I really enjoyed these questions and answers and I agree there are so many wonderful people here in blogland, it is terrible though that your daughter is still having a hard time coping. It is not always easy to put yourself out there I use to say the same thing to my daughter about a man not just turning up at her door but that ended up smacking me in the face because how did she meet her new man through her sister and yes he just turned up on her doorstep one day made me out to be wrong.......lol

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    1. I am going to have to tell my daughter the story about your daughter and the guy at the door, it will make her laugh. I guess one never knows! At this point, I'd be happy if UPS dropped one off in a box for her, cuz she has such a hard time promoting herself and is so sure she will be all alone forever. I know at times it can feel that way, but I honestly believe that if people are alone for many years, it's because they choose to be, or choose not to make an effort not to be - if that makes any sense. :-)

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  2. I don't get the whole meterosexual thing. Might as well be dating a woman!

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    1. I don't either, Monkey, it's a very strange definition of what it means to be masculine, that's for sure.

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  3. I've been checking my blog list to see if you had posted anything - but this post never showed up! So finally I realized something must be wrong and came on over to check.

    Loved reading your answers as always :)... I agree about the super waxed smooth guys - doesn't really turn me on either!

    I do hope things pick up for your daughter. It's so sad to hear what she's gone through. There's a new movie out called The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (I've only seen the trailer) and it's set in India. One of the Indian characters says something like - "In India we say that everything will be all right in the end. If it's not all right, then it's not the end yet." I thought it was a really nice quote.

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    1. I'm not sure why it wasn't showing up, Bozo, hopefully it does now! It is nice to hear that at least one young person doesn't find that look in males attractive. I think it's kind of sad that we are moving further and further away from natural appearance and creating a very plastic society.

      I absolutely love the quote you shared and am going to write it out to remember it. Now I want to check out the movie! THANKS!

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    2. Your most recent post shows so that will clear up any confusion that others might have - so it's all good ;)

      The movie comes out in the States on the fourth of May I think. It's been out in the UK for the last month or two. There are some good actors in it - such as Judie Dench... I can't wait to see it!

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  4. I am the same way when it comes to talking. My hubby and I got into a huge argument yesterday over this very thing. Ugh!

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    1. LOL Kristi, I can relate. When I first met John and we spent hours talking on the phone getting to know each other in depth, he actually had a little bell he would ding to signify that it was his turn to get a word in, he still laughs about it. Good thing we weren't in the same location or that bell might have been sounding a bit muffled! :-))

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  5. I am always amazed at how much we have in common - again; the perfume/cologne thing. Less is more people!! I'm also the same as you. If I'm excited about something, I can monopolize a conversation simply because I'm so happy or even aggravated LOL

    As for manscaping, well, here I'm a bit different...TMI alert...I like my man pruned in the right areas..with the exception of his chest. I love D's hairy chest so I can run my fingers through D's chest. Everything else, I like trim. And yeah...a talented tongue =)

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    1. LOL at the manscaping, L! I've had men like that too, and it can also be nice! But the whole waxed body thing, ewww. Maybe I'm just too old and it feels like I'm robbing the cradle with smooth babies! :-)

      Yes, on the conversation! It's not that I love to talk about me so much or intend to monopolize, in fact I am most often responding to something they said, but I do go on a bit! Hmmm... that seems to happen when I comment too! I type just like I talk! hehe

      The perfume thing is truely miserable for people with allergies. I wish they'd ban it from all workplaces, because it's always a very sensitive subject to try to get folks to understand. I once had a coworker who deliberately kept a bottle on her desk and used it often while glaring at me. I wanted to punch the bitch out, and got sympathy but zero support from my supervisor. Grrr

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    2. LOL - eww, a whole body wax - gross! Agreed on that one. And again, I'm like you, I comment like I blog - forever and ever and ever LOL

      Oh, My, Gosh! Let me tell you something...that lady would be in hell if she worked with me. Her perfume would be a thing of the past. I'd ask politely and if my supervisor didn't help it would disappear down the freakin' toilet. Policy be damned!! I know I just talked about over regulating but...NY did one thing right last year, the banned perfume in city/state work environments. Period!! Go NY!!

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    3. Go NY indeed! Policies banning fragrances, potpourri, etc in the workplace are becoming more common, thankfully. In my estimation it is a "hostile environment" issue, after you've explained and asked someone nicely to tone it down or refrain. Believe me, that offensive perfume bottle did a disappearing act more than once, but returned in stronger measure. She is one of the reasons, along with my boss's tolerance of her, that I chose not to work there anymore. Not surprisingly, I am told she walked off the job one day a few months back. Just dumped her keys and left. No loss, she should have been fired long before. My previous boss actually called then to see if I wanted to return. I nicely told him thank you, but no thank you!

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  6. :) I have rescued so many critters, of such variety & species.
    Opossums, skunks & raccoons are difficult, because their temperament is not trusting. Monkeys are so hyper!
    The last litter of kittens I bottle-fed was so ill that I was up with them around the clock, every 1 1/2-2 hours, for 6 weeks. We had two vaporizers going. I was doing chest thumps on them, as they were so congested. They could not eat much at a time; it's hard to nurse, when they can't breathe well! But...it is worth it! They all four made it, and are almost a year and a half old! You know Grizelda & Chloe. Moon & Willow are still together, in another home. I love them all. <3

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    1. Wonderful answer, McGuffy. True devotion is waking every few hours to feed an orphan animal baby! Obviously your loving care worked magic, as they are all thriving now! One of our rescue cats is named Chloe too! :-)

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  7. Where is it best to answer your question to us?? I love this "meme"!
    And you! Hugs!!

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    1. That's totally up to you McGuffy Ann. You can answer here as you did above, or you can put a post up on your blog answering the question. If you are are feeling brave and have the time and energy, you can ask your other readers to exchange questions with you too! If you do your own post, more folks get to read it and learn a bit more about you that way. We'll be up for another round starting on Tuesday, so put your thinking cap on and join us! :-)

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  8. I'm sorry to hear about your daughter too - she has had so much to deal with. From my perspective she has done remarkably well - she should be proud of herself for that because many women in her situation wouldn't make it through. I don't think people give enough credit to the act of survival but I think survival really shows the mettle of a person and is something to be admired.

    I had to laugh about the hairy men. You don't see as many of them as you used to. The beauty salon up the road from me is always full of men getting their chests waxed, eyebrows done.... the works. I see more men in there than women these days. It's metrosexual madness. Bring back chest hair!!!

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    1. I agree with you Selma, she has had so many hard things thrown at her in life, it hurts my mother heart. I think she is amazingly resilient, and brave enough to try to carve out a new life of her own. I only wish she could see and value half of her true worth, in her mind she has little to offer anyone, she sells herself short.

      I know exactly what you mean about hairy men. The young guys at John's work think a few chest hairs showing at a shirt neck opening is "ewww gross". Who wants a man with skin smoother than a woman's? It's just weird to me. I've had it both ways and I'll take a real man, a furry man, anyday! I think we are old school though, one of dying breed of women who see roles as important.

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Your comments are always appreciated... they make me smile! :-)