Lost and Found

Back in 1982, years before I met him, my now ex-husband became a first time father to a beautiful little girl with dark hair, olive skin, and green eyes, who grew to look so very much like him and his mother.  One year later his son was born, and he loved both of them dearly.  Sadly, his marriage to their mother was not to last many years longer, after coming home one night to find her with who he thought was his best friend.  They divorced and he moved to a distant corner of the state to start over. She stayed around for awhile, living at times with his family, but that didn't work out well, and eventually she took off with the kids and disappeared to parts unknown, leaving no trace of her whereabouts and no forwarding address. 

My ex tried every way possible to find out where his children were. Her family claimed they didn't know, and if they did they weren't saying.  As time went on he carried the hurt of losing them in his heart and self-medicated to ease the pain.  When I met him, all he had was a  portrait of the two of them when they were small, that we hung on our bedroom wall next to the one of my own two children.  We did everything within our financial means to track down his ex-wife's whereabouts and searched the Web endlessly for leads to the children, to no avail.  I told him that I was sure some day as they got older they would come looking for him, or he would find them again, but it seemed like an impossible dream.

While my ex and I have some bad history between us, I've long since laid aside any bitterness or resentment and we've returned to being friends, as we were meant to be.  I will always care about  him and he will always care about me, though we weren't destined to make good marriage mates, and he has much to learn about relationships.  We text now and then, and occasionally I send him and his girlfriend, who has also become a good friend of mine, photos of Stormy, the cat we shared from the time it was six weeks old.  When I left him and the farm, Stormy stayed with him since they were so close, but when he lost the house and had to move in with his parents he could no longer keep Stormy, so Stormy came to live with John and me.  Now in his senior years, he's had a wonderful life here, and pretty much rules the house and keeps the four female kitties in line. 

Last night I took a close up photo of Stormy who was laying on my lap, and sent it off to my ex.  He responded quickly and we exchanged a couple lines of conversation.  Then he said, "You will never guess who I am texting with now."  Hmmmm, I thought of several past mutual friends who might have resurfaced.  Then he said, "Donna".  My heart paused for a moment, "Are you serious?" I asked.  Yes! He wrote back eager to share his news with me.

At one time his ex-wife's mother was married to his grandfather (complicated I know). She died recently and his mother and sister went to the out-of-town funeral.  His ex-wife and children were there, as of course they would be!  My ex's family reconnected with the grandkids and of course hurried home to tell my ex that they'd been found.

We didn't visit long last night, but I know this turned his world upside down... or maybe finally right side up.  I can only imagine what it was like to get that news after having no contact or even knowledge of them for so many years.  It turns out, as he had long suspected, that their mother had told them he was dead.  (Don't even get me started on what I think of  parents who lie to their children about such things.)  His daughter and son are now close to thirty and living in California. His daughter has six children and his son has one,  so he not only regained his children, but became a grandpa overnight!  They are texting back and forth, and I'm sure world of healing is slowly taking place on both sides.  I know he can't wait to meet them, and I am eager to see pictures!

I am often accused of having a "Pollyanna" outlook on life,  believing that good things can and do happen more often than we realize.  This is just once example of something very beautiful, very close to the heart, happening to someone who has been hoping for so many years.  Life comes full circle, family is restored.  I am so glad for him! Nothing makes me smile more than when God works miracles to move mountains in our lives.


  1. Yeah, telling a child a parent is dead that isn't is just low. Very very low.

    I can't imagine what life would be like not knowing where my kids were.

    So much lost time, I hope they catch up quickly and starting making memories they should have had all along.

  2. Just like you.....I LOVE happy endings! What a wonderful story!!

  3. Oh Josie -- this is such a powerful and encouraging post. How absolutely beautiful -- horrible of the mother -- but a beautiful beginning of healing.


  4. Reading this put a smile on my face. I'm a Pollyanna too, and believe in happy endings.

  5. I'm so happy for your ex. No one deserves to lose their children when they are loved and not abused. I hope they will be able to reconnect and restore the lost relationship of the many years of separation.

  6. This made me smile. I love it when people are reunited after years of losing each other. I don't think it's Pollyanna to hope for and believe in happy endings. If it is Pollyanna, then I guess I'm a Pollyanna, too.

  7. This is a very beautiful and uplifting story!
    I am so happy for all!!! Miracles do exist!

  8. I loved the way you told this tale. I felt I was sitting down and you were chatting away giving me all the details in a logical way that so that the revelation was even a joy for this reader so many thousand miles away.

  9. Wow Josie. That is so great that they have found each other and are starting a relationship after so long. Fantastic.


Your comments are always appreciated... they make me smile! :-)