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Get A Life!


While surfing Six Word Saturday posts today and checking out a few profiles of folks who contributed, I came across an oft heard expression that bothers me to no end..."I don't have a life."  What?  Are you breathing?  Then trust me, you are living! 

What folks who express that sentiment are really saying is that they don't believe they have a life of value, it's not interesting, or exciting, or fun. Or maybe someone else they know has a life that looks much more wonderful than their own. 

I think there are two things that need to happen... first, you need to re-evaluate what "having a life" means to you. What would be your vision of a satisfying life, really? Of course we might immediately respond with fabulous wealth, freedom to travel anywhere, never having to work another day, lots of adventure!  Certainly, most of us would like the opportunity to experience at least some of those things. But does their absence in our lives really mean we don't have a life at all, or just that we are unhappy with the life we have?

So the next step is to figure out what you really feel is lacking deep down... is it friendship, activity, new interests, being of service to others?  Narrow it down to one thing you can do that would add a bit of sunshine to your "so called life".  For many working folks it might even be 30 minutes a day all to yourself to soak in bubbles, or paint your toenails, or read from a good book. For others it might be a walk outside for fresh air and exercise, or a phone conversation with a friend, crafting something beautiful or useful, or arranging a weekend getaway. Then make it happen! I am told that we make time for the things that are most important to us, even if just a little time!

I think our society and media are geared toward making us believe that excitement is a prerequisite to being happy.  Is living an activity or a state of being? My perception after 50-plus years of living is that every day is an adventure, we never know what's coming next.  Every day has opportunities to learn, to witness, to experience, and to share caring and joy!  The nights I find myself most content with my life are the ones where sometime during that day I made someone else smile, or extended a friendly greeting, or helped someone who was struggling, or got to snuggle up with my sweetie. If I was to describe how I spend most of my days, the majority of folks might describe it as boring or mundane, but to me, after years of living in chaos and constant emotional upheaval, boring is heavenly, a quiet room is a state of grace!

If you don't feel like you "have a life" you're in big trouble, and I've got news for you... this is the only one you're going to have (unless of course you believe in reincarnation which is possible, but that life came before or will be for another time)!  So stop feeling sorry for yourself and decide what you can do to feel better about how you spend your days. You don't have to make dramatic changes overnight, you don't have to tear off your clothes and run naked in the forest so you can live to tell the tale! You need to make time to do something meaningful for you, something that gives you pleasure or a sense of contentment.

For me, having a life means sharing my days and nights with the kindest, most wonderful man I ever could have dreamed of. It means talking over dinner, or sharing our deepest thoughts underneath the twinkling stars while soaking in the hot tub, it means having amazing children who fill me with pride and honor me with their love and appreciation, it means taking a moment to show compassion to a client who comes to my office, it means seeing a breathtaking sunset painted across the sky at the end of day, and it means sharing myself and my words with people all across the world thru the magic of blogging.

I think we all know how much one person can improve our whole day by their positive attitude, smile, or greeting. Step outside of your self-proclaimed misery and be the person that makes that difference... make a life for yourself that you're proud of, and a life you can love enough to claim as your own!

I assure you, my friend, you have a life, and it's ticking away hour by hour... don't waste it while daydreaming of some magical life far, far away. Make the magic happen!

12 comments:

  1. I think that if you take joy in the simple things around you that is what makes life worth living! Driving in to work today I looked around at the gorgeous trees, grass, ponds and everything I pass on my way to work and I thought..."Wow how blessed am I that I can see this every day?"

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  2. Amen and exactly, Kristi! My life may not be "glamorous" by conventional standards, but I am so very grateful for how wonderful it is! Happiness is seeing beauty and blessings in the small things, not always wishing you had more.

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  3. I enjoyed reading your posts and I will be back for more. You offer food for thought and that is greatly appreciated.

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  4. Thanks Leann, I really appreciate you dropping by! My brain is always thinking about something, the hamster never stops running in the wheel, silly hamster! :-)

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  5. This is such an important post...I wish you could get it published...Similarly I made that exact comment to my 21 year old son whose response stunned me. "Mom, you have a life...just because it isn't what everyone else wants for you doesn't mean it isn't your life. You're doing what makes you happy and it works for you....that's your life!" Man I raised a smart kid!

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  6. Awesome comment Brenda, you do have a wonderfully wise son. He said it better than I did! He also makes a great point... that what others think you should be doing with your life is not always what's right for you... listen to reason, but follow your heart!

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  7. Excluding people like me that use the phrase for humorous effect, most people I know that say they have no lives are mid-twenties and just coming out of that "every night is a party" phase in their lives. Their friends are settling down and having children or they've had children of their own and can't go drink like it's their damn job.

    People that say it, and aren't being intentionally ironic, are pathetic creatures that should be publicly shamed for taking life for granted.

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  8. There have been times in my life when I've said it, Monkey, and more times I surely felt that way... but when I really thought about it, it wasn't that I didn't have a life, but wasn't happy with the life I had. So then there's a choice... if we are unwilling to do something different, it is unrealistic to expect something different to happen. Time for a change! My life may not be perfect, I suspect it never will be, but it is a good life and I'm content, and that's what is important!

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  9. I'm always amazed by the whiners of the world whining their tales of woe and saying they don't have a life. Perhaps they need a reality check and turn on the news and see how others in third world countries live - amidst wars, famine, and poverty. Then, they should reevaluate their lives and see if they still believe they don't have one. We make of our lives that which we want. It is not up to anyone else or anything else to fill that void because no one and nothing can. If you're coming from a place of "void" then wherever you go, it'll follow. Happiness and gratefulness comes from within.

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  10. How I wish Blogger had a like button the way Face book does. Like, Like, Like. You are a wise woman Josie.

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  11. I wish blogger had a Like button too, Linda, so folks would know you stopped by and read at the times you don't really feel like commenting, or don't have the time. Wisdom is born of making lots of mistakes... so maybe that qualifies me at least a bit, but I don't feel very wise most days. I felt much wiser in my 20's... didn't we all?! :-)

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Your comments are always appreciated... they make me smile! :-)