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No More Talk of Darkness


Each week Carry on Tuesday publishes a famous quotation or the opening lines of a book, song or poem and invites writers to Carry On where words stop. This week's prompt is..."No more talk of darkness, forget these wide eyed fears." Here is my contribution...

"There will be no more talk of darkness" she admonish her daughter in response to the sobbing voice on the phone. "I don't want to hear anymore of you telling me what a loser you are, how ugly, how stupid, and how no one could ever or will ever want you because of the issues you deal with in your life."

"You need to understand that it wasn't all your fault. Such things never are. He wasn't a saint, he was just a man, with his own weaknesses and imperfections like we all have. No one is ever 100% at fault in a divorce. It's a shared failure. Sometimes one person cannot be enough, change enough to be all the other wants or thinks they need. Sometimes it's wrong to try. Sometimes people will leave regardless."

"It's been almost a year now, it's time to let go of the past and shut the door. It is over and done with. There is no undo button in life no matter how much we long for one. You can't spend the rest of your life in mourning what's been lost, you can't waste another day of your life looking back with regret. It is time to abandon the heavy blanket of despair you've been cocooned in."

"You need to live day by day in the present. Just getting thru one day at a time is challenge enough. Start taking notice of the little good things that do happen instead of wallowing in all the darkness and pain. Reach out and people will respond to you. A new life isn't going to come knocking on your door."

"Things aren't really getting worse in your life, you are just at a standstill... you can't go back and you're afraid to go forward. Yes, bad things, hard things to deal with, could happen down the road to you, or to any of us. You will find the strength and the direction to get thru them. Forget those wide-eyed fears. You can't fill your mind with what-ifs. Life never works out the way we plan or the way we fear. It is a mystery to experience, a journey of faith. It will be ok."

"You will not be alone forever, and you will not have to settle for someone so much less than what you believe he was. There is someone for everyone, someone good and decent, loving and caring, intelligent and responsible, someone who will be there for you thru good times and bad. Look at me and my life, who would have thought I would find someone to love me? The odds were certainly against it and yet I did, it was meant to be. There is someone meant for you in this stage of your life and you will find each other."

"You say you will never be happy again. We've all felt that way at times, the hopelessness and despair, and the depression they breed. But life cycles dear daughter, tough times don't last forever. There will come a day when you will laugh again and love again, and look back on these times as a reminder of just how good you have it compared to how it used to be. You will appreciate the new person in your life more than you ever did before, and you will cherish every moment that you have together. Trust me, I'm your mother, I know these things."

They talk on for an hour in the darkness of night, the daughter doubting and desperate for a strand of hope to cling to, the mother encouraging. When they are both exhausted from the outpouring of emotions, they say goodnight and end the conversation on a lighter, peaceful note, exchanging expressions of love for each other.

The mother crawls wearily into bed and snuggles into the arms of the man who loves her, and she knows that what she says is true... love will come again for her daughter, her life will move out of the darkness into the light.

17 comments:

  1. Yep, you are right on, but you already know that. I have said exactly these same words to each of mine. Being a good mother is completely exhausting and draining, isn't it?

    Much love dear Jos. :)

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  2. I'm so sorry she's still in such a dark place. I hope that as the days again grow longer so too will the light in her heart.

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  3. Wow. I don't know what to say.
    Big hugs to both you and your daughter.
    It does take a while to realise that something must end before something better can begin. And that you get to write your own new beginning... all you need to do is pick up a pen and begin to form the words.

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  4. A mother NEVER stops worrying.

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  5. There is someone that I would love to say all those things to. Not my daughter, but a client who just can not get over a marriage that was very bad. I think it's the loss of what she thought her life was going to be that she can't get over. That life was a dream, not a reality.

    Very well said, Josie.

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  6. Jamie - yes, it's an exhausting job at times, but so worthwhile when I can help her turn her outlook around, even for a little while.

    Robin - I am hoping and praying for that too!

    Reinsey - your absolutely right, we must me willing to shut the door on the past before we can open one to the future. She's getting there... slowly, but needs reasons to believe the future could turn out ok.

    JY - So true, and even moreso as they get older, the worries just get bigger and you have less control over the outcome. It is said that a mother is never happier than her saddest child, and I know it's true.

    Cheryl - I agree with you, sometimes when a relationship ends we mourn not so much what we had as what we wish we would have had, or dreamed we would have some day. Divorce means the death of dreams. Often, too, we delude ourselves into thinking things were better than they really were - the security of the familiar.

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  7. Wow! Beautiful writing.

    How lucky your daughter is to have you. You have been through it and know first hand. I understand it is still hard for her to hear, but she will in time, as you know.

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  8. Thank you Lena. Yes, this is a subject so very close to my heart, and one that has replayed often over the past months. When someone has been in a relationship for many years, it does take time - and lots of it - to heal from the loss and move on. With enough love and prayers she will get there.

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  9. When I was healing from my relationship gone wrong/bad I asked myself every morning -- What do I want to create in my life today.

    And then, when I wanted to cry or moan and feel sorry for myself (which was often in the beginning) I'd ask, Will this get me more of what I want in my life?

    Your daughter is blessed to have such a wise and loving woman to guide her.

    I love how you end this prose piece. Lyrical and soothing. Very beautiful.

    LouiseG

    PS -- thank you for dropping by my place today.

    I'll be coming back to read more - you have a beautiful voice.

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  10. Thank you for visiting Louise! One of the strangest traits in human nature is that we keep repeating the same patterns of behavior over and over again and expect different results! Been there, done that. I learn everything the hard way... I have a hard head! :-) I tell me daughter that if you want something different to happen in your life you have to be willing to step out of your comfort zone and do something different. She is making efforts, and I am proud of her!

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  11. great take on the prompt.
    lovely exploration of life.

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  12. Thank you Jingle, that was an easy prompt for me to respond to!

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  13. We have to grieve first before we find the strength to move on. But you know that and your daughter will come to know it as well.

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  14. You are right Loz. I think the greatest struggle she faces is her belief that she is totally responsible for the failure of their marriage and that she is incapable of being someone that anyone could love and live with long term. Depression plays a big part in this. I do believe that time and the advent of someone new into her life will restore hope and her belief in herself. I am praying that it does!

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  15. JTS! thank you -- you are the post/writer I was referring to!

    And yes -- doing the same begs the same. Doing different creates something else!

    Hugs -- I'm so glad to have connected -- I don't know how old your daughter is but I am the same age as you :)

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  16. I can't wait to order your book and read it, Louise. Your story sounds very similar to my past and I know how challenging it can be to not only recover but to put new meaning in life. The concept of joyful living is extremely attractive and so badly needed! I'll be 57 in just a few more weeks and proud of it, my daughter is 35. I also have a son who is 31.

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  17. I hope the brightness returns sooner rather than later.

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Your comments are always appreciated... they make me smile! :-)